Anyone remember the Fox Kids Club? I can guarantee you that Ryan and Heather do, and now I do too.
"Whoa, chiefy!" you say (I can hear you because I have your apartment bugged). "Not only do I remember it, but I still love it!"
Well, then, you will enjoy this story.
LOCATION: A karaoke bar on the west side named for a hillbilly.
TIME: Last night.
Ryan tried some stand-up, which had some good moments. Most of the stand-up overall was pretty desperate and rambling--at last half the guys on stage had notes. So Ryan got points just for seeming more natural.
Anyway, the karaoke began. Someone sang "Picture," as someone always does. It was not brilliant. Someone sang something else, and it was slightly more brilliant. Some mid-forties dude in a sweatshirt got on stage and Ryan, next to me, blurted something about the Kids Club. He then explained to me that the guy on stage was the guy who used to do the Fox Kids Club spots on KDSM.
"Yell it," I told him, but he wouldn't. So I did. "Kids Club!" I yelled, and the guy onstage was like, "Heh, kids club..." I didn't know if he would laugh or shoot me with a crossbow.
Was it really the Kids Club guy? Was it really Ben Ulin, of Kids Club/Adventureland magic show fame? Was this the man who used to be swarmed by adoring young coeds, who had once owned a 10,000 sq. ft. submarine carved out of solid fucking gold?
Next time he got on stage, he said it was nice to know that the Kids' Club kids were now old enough to drink.
After the show we went over to his table, where he sat with a couple. Was he trying to maneuver his way into some weird swingers' circle? Who knows. We asked if we could take his picture with Heather, and then we were regaled with tales of the Kids' Club and single mothers who wanted him to teach magic to their kids and of how KDSM found him working magic and said hey, you look like the kind of guy who could give away G.I. Joes on TV between X-Men and C.O.P.S.
You may remember Michelle, who the Kids Club was passed onto when Ben Ulin left. Do you want to know what Ben Ulin thinks of Michelle? "Fuck Michelle!" he said, and rose his middle finger high, and proud.
There was also a story about a trunkload of dildos, but that's Heather's story so maybe she'll write it in the comments. IF you ask nicely.
In other news, I won an aluminum pen emblazoned with the Gray Goose label. I also karaoked Don't Touch Me, by Brak. Why did the karaoke bar have that song on file? I have no idea. Probably the reason involves a trunk full of dildos.
"Whoa, chiefy!" you say (I can hear you because I have your apartment bugged). "Not only do I remember it, but I still love it!"
Well, then, you will enjoy this story.
LOCATION: A karaoke bar on the west side named for a hillbilly.
TIME: Last night.
Ryan tried some stand-up, which had some good moments. Most of the stand-up overall was pretty desperate and rambling--at last half the guys on stage had notes. So Ryan got points just for seeming more natural.
Anyway, the karaoke began. Someone sang "Picture," as someone always does. It was not brilliant. Someone sang something else, and it was slightly more brilliant. Some mid-forties dude in a sweatshirt got on stage and Ryan, next to me, blurted something about the Kids Club. He then explained to me that the guy on stage was the guy who used to do the Fox Kids Club spots on KDSM.
"Yell it," I told him, but he wouldn't. So I did. "Kids Club!" I yelled, and the guy onstage was like, "Heh, kids club..." I didn't know if he would laugh or shoot me with a crossbow.
Was it really the Kids Club guy? Was it really Ben Ulin, of Kids Club/Adventureland magic show fame? Was this the man who used to be swarmed by adoring young coeds, who had once owned a 10,000 sq. ft. submarine carved out of solid fucking gold?
Next time he got on stage, he said it was nice to know that the Kids' Club kids were now old enough to drink.
After the show we went over to his table, where he sat with a couple. Was he trying to maneuver his way into some weird swingers' circle? Who knows. We asked if we could take his picture with Heather, and then we were regaled with tales of the Kids' Club and single mothers who wanted him to teach magic to their kids and of how KDSM found him working magic and said hey, you look like the kind of guy who could give away G.I. Joes on TV between X-Men and C.O.P.S.
You may remember Michelle, who the Kids Club was passed onto when Ben Ulin left. Do you want to know what Ben Ulin thinks of Michelle? "Fuck Michelle!" he said, and rose his middle finger high, and proud.
There was also a story about a trunkload of dildos, but that's Heather's story so maybe she'll write it in the comments. IF you ask nicely.
In other news, I won an aluminum pen emblazoned with the Gray Goose label. I also karaoked Don't Touch Me, by Brak. Why did the karaoke bar have that song on file? I have no idea. Probably the reason involves a trunk full of dildos.
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