Mr. Wiggles Meets Boltar Meets Your Wife in a Seedy Motel
Yesterday one of the transcriptionist was escorted out of the building. I heard about it later, because I keep my door closed. My computer faces the door to the transcriptionist pool, and a couple of them pop in and out to talk to the tranny they've put in here to work in the afternoons. And if I'm mid-story, writing about "fucking fuck fucks" it can be a little awkward.
So three people took the tranny out. Halfway out the door her head was seen to shake. Someone thought she was going to yell. But then a seam split along the jawline, and the head splintered—that was someone's word for it although I'd say fractured is a better one—and fell away. What was left was a green stalk, divided into quadrants of flesh like a cactus's. The quadrants separated, and then the stalk whipped around and severed the heads of everyone within five feet.
Thankfully I missed all that because I had the door closed.
...
Here's the transcript of a dream I had:
MY BOSS IN GOV'T RESEARCH (NOT THE REAL ONE). Tim, go check out blah blah blah
ME. Okay.
ME GOES TO CHECK OUT BLAH BLAH BLAH. IT'S LOCATED AT A TRAILER PARK WITH A SIZABLE HOLE OUT FRONT. SOMEONE IS DIGGING THIS HOLE WITH A SHOVEL. THE SOMEONE TURNS OUT TO BE LUCAS.
LUCAS. Heeeeyyy! HE HIGH FIVES ME. Heeeyy!
ME. Well, my work here is done. EXIT.
ME COMES BACK LATER. THE HOLE IS HUGE NOW. YOU COULD EASILY DRIVE A SEMI INTO IT. I AM NOT REALLY IMPRESSED THAT LUCAS HAS DUG A 10 FEET DEEP, SEMI-SIZED HOLE IN ABOUT FOUR HOURS.
THERE ARE WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOLE. BIG MONSTROUS ONES...EASILY SIX INCHES AROUND AND A FOOT LONG.
ME. They get bigger as you go down, huh?
LUCAS. Yeah, you fuckers! HE GIGGLES. HE STABS THE GROUND WITH A SHOVEL; MOCK COMBAT. Yeah, they're huge!
ME FAILS TO CONSIDER IT LOGICALLY, BUT SINCE IN THIS DREAM WORLD WORM GIRTH IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO DEPTH IN SOIL, WORMS FIFTY FEET BELOW THE HOUSE WOULD BE ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A RAILROAD CAR.
...
Here's an exchange that just happened, between me and other researcher, while we looked for a definition and listing of 'controlled substances.' I am perusing a list of them.
KATHY. Where'd you find that?
TIM. It's a federal law, so it's everywhere.
KATHY. What?
TIM. It's a fed law, so it's everywhere.
KATHY. It's a fed law, so it fits everywhere?
TIM. It's everywhere. It's a federal thing.
KATHY. So it fits everywhere? What does that mean?
TIM. It's found all over the internet. I googled it.
KATHY. You googled it and found out it fits everywhere?
So three people took the tranny out. Halfway out the door her head was seen to shake. Someone thought she was going to yell. But then a seam split along the jawline, and the head splintered—that was someone's word for it although I'd say fractured is a better one—and fell away. What was left was a green stalk, divided into quadrants of flesh like a cactus's. The quadrants separated, and then the stalk whipped around and severed the heads of everyone within five feet.
Thankfully I missed all that because I had the door closed.
...
Here's the transcript of a dream I had:
MY BOSS IN GOV'T RESEARCH (NOT THE REAL ONE). Tim, go check out blah blah blah
ME. Okay.
ME GOES TO CHECK OUT BLAH BLAH BLAH. IT'S LOCATED AT A TRAILER PARK WITH A SIZABLE HOLE OUT FRONT. SOMEONE IS DIGGING THIS HOLE WITH A SHOVEL. THE SOMEONE TURNS OUT TO BE LUCAS.
LUCAS. Heeeeyyy! HE HIGH FIVES ME. Heeeyy!
ME. Well, my work here is done. EXIT.
ME COMES BACK LATER. THE HOLE IS HUGE NOW. YOU COULD EASILY DRIVE A SEMI INTO IT. I AM NOT REALLY IMPRESSED THAT LUCAS HAS DUG A 10 FEET DEEP, SEMI-SIZED HOLE IN ABOUT FOUR HOURS.
THERE ARE WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOLE. BIG MONSTROUS ONES...EASILY SIX INCHES AROUND AND A FOOT LONG.
ME. They get bigger as you go down, huh?
LUCAS. Yeah, you fuckers! HE GIGGLES. HE STABS THE GROUND WITH A SHOVEL; MOCK COMBAT. Yeah, they're huge!
ME FAILS TO CONSIDER IT LOGICALLY, BUT SINCE IN THIS DREAM WORLD WORM GIRTH IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO DEPTH IN SOIL, WORMS FIFTY FEET BELOW THE HOUSE WOULD BE ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A RAILROAD CAR.
...
Here's an exchange that just happened, between me and other researcher, while we looked for a definition and listing of 'controlled substances.' I am perusing a list of them.
KATHY. Where'd you find that?
TIM. It's a federal law, so it's everywhere.
KATHY. What?
TIM. It's a fed law, so it's everywhere.
KATHY. It's a fed law, so it fits everywhere?
TIM. It's everywhere. It's a federal thing.
KATHY. So it fits everywhere? What does that mean?
TIM. It's found all over the internet. I googled it.
KATHY. You googled it and found out it fits everywhere?
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