Coffee, Kung-fu and a big goat penis.
Here at work we have a crappy Maxwell House coffee dispenser that dispenses various coffess and watered-down cappacino’s (and wow I don’t know how to spell that word) all of which really suck so far as taste go, but if you need a quick jolt to wake yourself up after proofreading a 16-page 10pt-font document, then the ‘strong’ coffee does the trick.
Here’s something strange though: There are two main levels of coffee, decaffeinated and regular, just like you’d see in any Kum and Go. But this machine takes it a few steps further. Under both headings there are three sublevels of strength: mild, regular and strong. I’ve found that the strong caffinated coffee is pretty strong and I have no idea why anyone would fiddle around with its weaker brothers. It all tastes like crap and the only real reason to drink it is to get that sweet caffine high, so what is the point of anything weaker?
And the decaffinated stuff just really boggles my mind. It’s like non-alcoholic beer (or more aptly, non-alcoholic whiskey!), it doesn’t make sense. Who the fuck would drink the sludge if it didn’t wake you up?
Stranger still is the three sub-levels of decaffinated coffee. Are there subtle levels of non-caffination or did they just flavor the decaf so that it tastes like strong coffee but is actually just really shitty tasting muck?
Someone with comic-making skills needs to create a martial arts comic with characters based on Amish, Tim, Wes, Kevin, myself...ect.
This idea came to me when I realized that, if Amish were a Kung-Fu master, he would be known as The Bearded Dragon. And the comic needs to feature Amish as The Bearded Dragon. He is the baddest beard around.
Supporting characters could include Kevin, also known as The Whipping Mongoose, who would shake his head ferociously when attacked and his strands of hair would lash out like whips, cutting his enemies’ fucking heads off.
Tim would have the devastating head butt and gato-punch combo, along with maybe some Mountain Dew nunchuckus. Or, hell, just rage. That’s the only weapon Tim needs. And he should also be able to do that naked man maneuver from Marvel vs. Capcom 2.
I would probably be a master of a Celtic martial art known as Fu-khu. It would involve a lot of head butting and biting. It would probably be a more vicious version of drunken boxing with a lot more nut shots.
My battle cry would be, "I am just a goat, just a little goat, just a little teeny-tiny little goat with a big goat penis!"
I would say that just before I whipped my thing out and smacked my opponent in the face with it.
Here’s something strange though: There are two main levels of coffee, decaffeinated and regular, just like you’d see in any Kum and Go. But this machine takes it a few steps further. Under both headings there are three sublevels of strength: mild, regular and strong. I’ve found that the strong caffinated coffee is pretty strong and I have no idea why anyone would fiddle around with its weaker brothers. It all tastes like crap and the only real reason to drink it is to get that sweet caffine high, so what is the point of anything weaker?
And the decaffinated stuff just really boggles my mind. It’s like non-alcoholic beer (or more aptly, non-alcoholic whiskey!), it doesn’t make sense. Who the fuck would drink the sludge if it didn’t wake you up?
Stranger still is the three sub-levels of decaffinated coffee. Are there subtle levels of non-caffination or did they just flavor the decaf so that it tastes like strong coffee but is actually just really shitty tasting muck?
Someone with comic-making skills needs to create a martial arts comic with characters based on Amish, Tim, Wes, Kevin, myself...ect.
This idea came to me when I realized that, if Amish were a Kung-Fu master, he would be known as The Bearded Dragon. And the comic needs to feature Amish as The Bearded Dragon. He is the baddest beard around.
Supporting characters could include Kevin, also known as The Whipping Mongoose, who would shake his head ferociously when attacked and his strands of hair would lash out like whips, cutting his enemies’ fucking heads off.
Tim would have the devastating head butt and gato-punch combo, along with maybe some Mountain Dew nunchuckus. Or, hell, just rage. That’s the only weapon Tim needs. And he should also be able to do that naked man maneuver from Marvel vs. Capcom 2.
I would probably be a master of a Celtic martial art known as Fu-khu. It would involve a lot of head butting and biting. It would probably be a more vicious version of drunken boxing with a lot more nut shots.
My battle cry would be, "I am just a goat, just a little goat, just a little teeny-tiny little goat with a big goat penis!"
I would say that just before I whipped my thing out and smacked my opponent in the face with it.
0 Replies:
Post a Comment
<< Home