Supposedly the Mediacom guy is coming today

so I set up the Mediacom box and my ibook on the coffee table in the living room. And I was just thinking—last night we should have dressed up Goathead in a polo work shirt, like a Mediacom guy, and strapped a toolbelt around his waist, and taken him down to the Garden. No, wait—and had him kneel in front of the coffee table and fiddle with the computer, as if setting up the internet. And I would stand behind him, with a big jagged axe lifted for the kill. And we would have photographed it and left it as the desktop on my computer, optionally with the caption

LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!!