We need Ben Franklin...alive

First off: Dave Paxton ain't given us any police reports. We aint got shit. So it might be a big "Fuck You, Albia Restoration Days!" from the Class of 2000 Insert-Lame-Title starring Tim Dicks, Andy Judge, Ryan McDumbass, Dave Wells, and Justin "Moist Deluxe" Gilespy, and any other Albia High School Alumni they can hornswaggle onto stage.

By the way, I purposely mispelled Amish's last name, cuz the fucking Albia Typo is well...an abortion clinic for awesome names that pumps out aborted names. Wait...woah. I just gave myself a wtf on that one.

ANYWAY: we need a time machine. Why? Whenever any of us do something that is completely out of character or has no feasable way of working, we need to go back to the colonial days and hire Ben Franklin to stop us and say "Seriously, stop." For example: Dave might or might not be getting signals from a person of the female persuasion. Ben Franklin needs to appear in his Lighting-Powered Indoor-Stove Robot Suit (with bi-focal laser eyes) and tell me "Seriously: stop. Now."

And I so totally would! Why? Well no fucking duh here: he's Benjamin fuckin' Franklin, and he knows his shit, especially when it is harolding an ending to a situation.

ALSO: CNTL-F (or apple-f for you sailors and faggots who use Macs) and type in "Fuck" and count how many times the blog uses that magic word. You will be amazzorred.