Manifesting My Revenge

So I lost my phone. Don't call me for a while until I say so. Not that, well, any of you fucks do call me, but just keep up the no-contact order.

I had to go to the Nextel Store to put my phone on hold so no mystery Guatamalian or Lebanese person would find my phone and make calls to their heathen families in the areas of the world God has forgotten. So Ali and I go out and park in the Mall's parking acre. We come back 40 minutes later to discover that an SUV has pinned us into our spot by not properly parking. This assclown seriously had his bumper inches from Ali's passenger door...and something snapped. I grabbed a Sharpie and a piece of white paper and left this pinnacle-of-my-existence scripture on the fuckin' SUV's windshield from years of the nightmare that has up till now made me irate:

LEARN TO PARK YOUR GOD DAMN BEHEMOTH IN THE LINES! (scournful face)

I can almost die happy. I just need that gothy/pirate/punk girl to scrog me to death while MSI blares in the background whilst a 300 ft. screen projects the slaughtering of a blue whale. Then I can die happy.