Nostrils

Have you ever thought about how strange they are? These gaping voids in our heads? These passages to the disgusting inner sanctum? They're as creepy and ominous as any comic book orifices leading to the center of the earth and the moles that inhabit it.

Have you ever wondered if your teachers enjoyed watching you squirm during a test? It's the kind of thing we always wonder, but which I wrote off as paranoid fantasy when we were in high school. Well, let me tell you, today when I administered a quiz and saw the panic on students' faces, waves of pleasure coursed through me. The four questions were so simple that you'd be offended if you'd actually read the chapter, but hard to guess if you hadn't (for example, which of the five examples of argument in pop culture did you find the most memorable, and why?). One girl, who has problems showing up regularly, had such a blatant reaction that I had to write down on my notes, ABJECT TERROR. She looked as if I'd just pulled a gun. God, it was great. It was great great great.