Wall Street has kidnapped the economy! Someone's got to stop them. Are you a bad enough dood?
I have the solution to the economic crisis: Martain Gold.
No really, there is gold on mars. Maybe not as much gold as there is on earth, but no one has been mining martian gold. It's all just sitting there under the red dunes waiting for America to strip mine it out and ship it back to Earth. Expensive? OF COURSE! Prohibitively so, but we've got $700 billion dollars to play with! And I for one would feel much better about giving that money to NASA than to Wall Street.
We have about as much chance making money on the martian gold deal as we do fixing the economy with $700 billion dollars. In fact, the Mars gold rush would be a way smarter investment. It would be a moral victory as well. We'd be the first nation to land a man on another planet. That's right China, Gold medal in the 36 million mile dash: USA. Why don't you put those twelve year olds in a cannon and see how close you can get them?
Who really thinks this bailout is going to work? George Bush. HA! Haven't we learned by now that it would probably NOT be in our best interest to do what George Bush tells us to do? The investment banks probably promised him a cut of the bailout if he'd push it through. Yes, hand those idiots a fat check for fucking up our economy, great idea.
When the stock market crashed in '29 at least the men of Wall Street had the dignity to jump out their windows and go down with the ship. These pathetic fucks want the taxpayers to bail them out. Look, I spent seven months solisiting sub-prime loans for Wells Fargo. They knew what they were doing, and they did it anyway--chasing those big numbers. Now the big number is forclosures and they think we're going to save them because they've got a gun to the head of the economy? "Give us the bailout, or the bitch gets it!"
I thought we didn't negotiate with terrorists, George.
Colonials knew how to handle knaves like these. Black bath with a feather towel-off.
No really, there is gold on mars. Maybe not as much gold as there is on earth, but no one has been mining martian gold. It's all just sitting there under the red dunes waiting for America to strip mine it out and ship it back to Earth. Expensive? OF COURSE! Prohibitively so, but we've got $700 billion dollars to play with! And I for one would feel much better about giving that money to NASA than to Wall Street.
We have about as much chance making money on the martian gold deal as we do fixing the economy with $700 billion dollars. In fact, the Mars gold rush would be a way smarter investment. It would be a moral victory as well. We'd be the first nation to land a man on another planet. That's right China, Gold medal in the 36 million mile dash: USA. Why don't you put those twelve year olds in a cannon and see how close you can get them?
Who really thinks this bailout is going to work? George Bush. HA! Haven't we learned by now that it would probably NOT be in our best interest to do what George Bush tells us to do? The investment banks probably promised him a cut of the bailout if he'd push it through. Yes, hand those idiots a fat check for fucking up our economy, great idea.
When the stock market crashed in '29 at least the men of Wall Street had the dignity to jump out their windows and go down with the ship. These pathetic fucks want the taxpayers to bail them out. Look, I spent seven months solisiting sub-prime loans for Wells Fargo. They knew what they were doing, and they did it anyway--chasing those big numbers. Now the big number is forclosures and they think we're going to save them because they've got a gun to the head of the economy? "Give us the bailout, or the bitch gets it!"
I thought we didn't negotiate with terrorists, George.
Colonials knew how to handle knaves like these. Black bath with a feather towel-off.
Do the chicken dance you fucking swindlers.
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