2008 OR Where's my bailout?
You should read Dave Barry's year end review. It is fucking hilarious, and it sums up national events for the year pretty appropriately, I'd say.
As for local news, this has been a really weird year for me, personally. To recap, here is Goathed's Year in review:
It all started in New York. What was weird about that? I was there! And it wasn't scary, in fact, parts of it reminded me of Sesame street.
Not long after my trip to New York, I completed my collection of psychedelic science poems and bribed three faculty members to read the goofy shit. I geared up for a hard fight, but the thesis 'defense' turned out to be more of a thesis 'nod and agree.'
So graduation was a bit anti-climactic. And instead of flashing the crowd at graduation, I opted for a slightly less vulgar protest: I made a movie about the TA program and posted it on Youtube. I won't replay that donkey show for you here, but that controversy was definitely a high point in my year.
Here is an allegorical account of my graduation:
I was sitting in a dark room illuminated only by a single overhead lamp beaming right down into my eyes. Through the glare I could see the vague outline of the Iowa State cyclone mascot thumbing through a copy of my thesis. He stopped thumbing, and looked up at me through the tiny slit in his neck and said in a muffled voice,
"Yeah, uh, your poems are okay, you can graduate. Thanks for all the cheap labor. Now, please, get the fuck off my campus."
As I got up and made for the door, I hesitated and turned to look back. The man in the big red bird suit was tossing my thesis in a big pile in the corner of the room. His back was to me. I dove between his legs and reached up, gripping as hard as I could, then ran out the door screaming, "I GRABBED HIS NUTS, YO!"
Speaking of shots to the balls . . .
AFTER GRADUATION I tried to get a job. And failed. And failed again, and again, and again, and . . . yes, again.
Sure, I could blame it on the recession, but there were jobs available. I applied for most of them. Hell, I even managed to get interviews for a few, but, in the end, they all decided they'd rather hire an experienced woman than a male poet who had spent the better part of the past decade in college. Fucking sexist pricks.
Finally, I landed a temp job that sucked less than collecting cans from local gas station garbage bins.
That was in August. I'm still here.
So that's 2008 in a nutshell. I believe I also performed in a local production of Reefer Madness, but strangely I cannot recollect any of that stuff. Whenever I try to conjure those memories, my mind only produces the sound of manic giggling.
As for local news, this has been a really weird year for me, personally. To recap, here is Goathed's Year in review:
It all started in New York. What was weird about that? I was there! And it wasn't scary, in fact, parts of it reminded me of Sesame street.
Not long after my trip to New York, I completed my collection of psychedelic science poems and bribed three faculty members to read the goofy shit. I geared up for a hard fight, but the thesis 'defense' turned out to be more of a thesis 'nod and agree.'
So graduation was a bit anti-climactic. And instead of flashing the crowd at graduation, I opted for a slightly less vulgar protest: I made a movie about the TA program and posted it on Youtube. I won't replay that donkey show for you here, but that controversy was definitely a high point in my year.
Here is an allegorical account of my graduation:
I was sitting in a dark room illuminated only by a single overhead lamp beaming right down into my eyes. Through the glare I could see the vague outline of the Iowa State cyclone mascot thumbing through a copy of my thesis. He stopped thumbing, and looked up at me through the tiny slit in his neck and said in a muffled voice,
"Yeah, uh, your poems are okay, you can graduate. Thanks for all the cheap labor. Now, please, get the fuck off my campus."
As I got up and made for the door, I hesitated and turned to look back. The man in the big red bird suit was tossing my thesis in a big pile in the corner of the room. His back was to me. I dove between his legs and reached up, gripping as hard as I could, then ran out the door screaming, "I GRABBED HIS NUTS, YO!"
Speaking of shots to the balls . . .
AFTER GRADUATION I tried to get a job. And failed. And failed again, and again, and again, and . . . yes, again.
Sure, I could blame it on the recession, but there were jobs available. I applied for most of them. Hell, I even managed to get interviews for a few, but, in the end, they all decided they'd rather hire an experienced woman than a male poet who had spent the better part of the past decade in college. Fucking sexist pricks.
Finally, I landed a temp job that sucked less than collecting cans from local gas station garbage bins.
That was in August. I'm still here.
So that's 2008 in a nutshell. I believe I also performed in a local production of Reefer Madness, but strangely I cannot recollect any of that stuff. Whenever I try to conjure those memories, my mind only produces the sound of manic giggling.
0 Replies:
Post a Comment
<< Home