That's right Greg, I have a damn load in my pants

I just got back from delivering some documents to a writer. They were all edited and pretty and wonderful. Usually when I drop things off with the writers I put them in an inbox of some sort, but with Greg (this is the guy that cornered me in the bathroom--I think I wrote a painfully long post about him) I usually have to set them somewhere conspicuous on his desk or in his chair. If he happens to be at his desk (rare) I just hand them to him.

Well, this morning he was in his cube so I handed him the documents but then I noticed that he got an inbox so I asked him if he'd like me to start putting them there. He claimed that he checks his desk for stuff more often than his inbox...blah blah blah.

At about this point in the conversation I think I may have farted.

I'm not sure if I farted because I'm currently insane on caffine. FUCKING BONKERS! Coffee makes me absolutely batshit nuts. I had a mere 12oz cup of the STRONG Maxwell House vending machine slop and it sent me to loopy town. I just watched a tribe of Gnomes run across my desk and steal my stapler. Fuck...just a sec...I need to get that from them.

*sounds of Gnomes being smashed with a telephone reciever*

Okay, so anyway, back to the fart dilemma.

I'm all cracked out on Maxwell House and Greg is talking about junk mail in his inbox and why he doesn't check it...yadda yadda yadda...and all I want to do is go back to my desk and watch the Battle Royal that's going on between the dictionary, the thesaurus, the proofreading handbook and the AP Styleguide. (The dictionary won after it suplexed the proofreading handbook onto a bed of thumbtacks and pinned that bitch!)

I'm smiling and nodding and waiting for Greg to stop talking...I think I see the end...yes he appears to be wrapping up...he's waving his hand across his face...wait...what did he just say? Oh, who cares. Smile and give him a thumbs up, that always works. (grin--thumbs up--walk away)

So I get back to my cube, and while I'm watching the AP Styleguide put the thesaurus in an ankle lock it dawns on me. "When he was waving his hand in front of his face...he said 'You shit,' didn't he?"

I still have no idea. But it is a distinct possibility that one of the writers just accused me of shitting my pants. And, if that is the case, right after he did so I smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

I need more coffee.