My job is dumb.

This is what I've just been asked to research:

Client has $52,000 in outstanding student loans. What is available for people to see if student loans can be “written off”?

I'm going to write a very long and detailed report about the proper time of night, season, etc., to go to the Enchanted Glade and there to wait for the third rainbow to appear in the night sky, which must be followed to its completion, in a dewy marsh, where a tiny man in quaint green clothes will--