Bollocks...

Well. I found the girl's parents at graduation. I kind of thought they were saving a seat.

Well, they were. But it was for the "other man" whom I hadn't heard tell of since our February break up. I had thought that we might actually get back together, and the things she had said leading up to today had done little to contradict this...

Well fuck.

I was shocked.
I am dissapointed,
but not angry.
But mostly I think I am relieved.

I hope she can be happier. It hurts me to think she was unhappy for some time while she was with me. I wish she would have just told me what was going on, instead of making me find out. Other than that I don't really fault her, I guess maybe we just weren't meant to be. I can't say I'm not guilty either though. I should have picked up on things sooner. I just wanted so desperately to think that she was unaffectionate because she was too stressed, rather than that she just didn't want to be affectionate to me.

One thing did make me angry. I can't even say why exactly. I'm not angry at the "other man", but I was furious that he wouldn't look me in the eye. That just really got to me.

Ultimately I don't entirely know what to think. I wish it would have worked out differently. It seems that us being together wasn't to be, but I wish it could have at least ended better(more certainly and sooner). I hope we can not hate each other, friends would be nice, but it probably won't be easy. It is a relief though. Not knowing anything, just waiting, was driving me insane...