Apology Requested
Well, shit. I really, really, really do want to apologize now for my snappy responce yesterday in that post. Lets go down the list of how I'm so wrong:
My loyalties: They are weak, but in all honesty it's my fault. I can easily say "no" to the exes but look at my situation: Everyone is busy. I can be bored out of my mind and stuck in a town with nothing to do OR I can hang out with people who know my name...but that is an excuse. Ill be the first to say Im insecure and weak by myself when it comes to social situations. I had this notion that if I were to be back in iowa, then there would be time made for me, and not me having to make time for others. That again, is my fault for assuming. It also needs to be noted that my loyalties dont lie in them 100%. I came back to see my family and my friends, and seeing how everyone is busy I took what i could.
Ride Situation: I really really didnt mean to bark at you, Tim. I felt extremely forced into being brought back to Albia, and if you all couldnt do it I would have called the exes. But no one said anything about that. Again, it was assumptions. And I realized Tim had an OWI but from the convo we had at my recieving, he was over with that for the most part. Plus, the fact that I showed up and demanded a ride back was pretty lousey (sic) of me. I didn't consider you all had plans, and the fact that I barked at you all for having plans (especially Tim) was also very hateful of me. Hateful in the fact I became a bitch and demanded everyone to pay attention to me and me alone. It also turns out that I didnt have to be back in Albia that next morning because the electrician had called and moved the day forward. If I had called home and etc, then I would have found out this fact and avoided that drama.
The Dana Sitaution: Ryan's phone is the only number I had. The one he gave me said he was "currently unavailable." Easily understandable. And Ryan, as well, is a bad phone answerer. Understandably, Andy had a wedding and Tim had Sarahs stuff to do and advanced warning was given. I think I was more upset with Amish, who said to call him and when I did he never got a response. But reguardless, my fault again for bunching you all up and thinking the "if one fails, everyone fails" sort of mentality.
...and that's my apology. I'm wrong, again, for assuming and making blanket statements and not being loyal to my real friends.
I really WASNT upset with all of you. I just felt I needed to convey what was on my chest. *GASP* Denver has really taught me that you have to break a few eggs before a cake is made. But then again, blaming you all for everything and not blaming me for poor planning or words out of context really didnt help the situation.
However, it doesn't help as far as communicating with me when my phone doesn't work in Albia, and that no one probably has my mom's house's number. So this lack of communication is even moreso my fault because of a shitty phone.
The blog is a double-edged sword sometimes. Not only does it cut ya goin in and comin out, it can be read the wrong way or can convey subtexts not intended.
To summarize: I'm a bitch, need to get my head out of my ass, you all are cool but PLEASE keep me from going to the LXG, and Dana/I wished you could have met her. This all means I'm so wrong for being pig-headed and nutshots from you all would be very well deserved if targeted at me.
*heart warming sitcom hug or well placed groin injury goes here*
So Wednesday or Thursday, Andy? Call my mothers house in albia (Albia numbers and 5023) and you'll need to yammer on the machine a bit so I can get past the 1000 animals and answer the damn phone.
My loyalties: They are weak, but in all honesty it's my fault. I can easily say "no" to the exes but look at my situation: Everyone is busy. I can be bored out of my mind and stuck in a town with nothing to do OR I can hang out with people who know my name...but that is an excuse. Ill be the first to say Im insecure and weak by myself when it comes to social situations. I had this notion that if I were to be back in iowa, then there would be time made for me, and not me having to make time for others. That again, is my fault for assuming. It also needs to be noted that my loyalties dont lie in them 100%. I came back to see my family and my friends, and seeing how everyone is busy I took what i could.
Ride Situation: I really really didnt mean to bark at you, Tim. I felt extremely forced into being brought back to Albia, and if you all couldnt do it I would have called the exes. But no one said anything about that. Again, it was assumptions. And I realized Tim had an OWI but from the convo we had at my recieving, he was over with that for the most part. Plus, the fact that I showed up and demanded a ride back was pretty lousey (sic) of me. I didn't consider you all had plans, and the fact that I barked at you all for having plans (especially Tim) was also very hateful of me. Hateful in the fact I became a bitch and demanded everyone to pay attention to me and me alone. It also turns out that I didnt have to be back in Albia that next morning because the electrician had called and moved the day forward. If I had called home and etc, then I would have found out this fact and avoided that drama.
The Dana Sitaution: Ryan's phone is the only number I had. The one he gave me said he was "currently unavailable." Easily understandable. And Ryan, as well, is a bad phone answerer. Understandably, Andy had a wedding and Tim had Sarahs stuff to do and advanced warning was given. I think I was more upset with Amish, who said to call him and when I did he never got a response. But reguardless, my fault again for bunching you all up and thinking the "if one fails, everyone fails" sort of mentality.
...and that's my apology. I'm wrong, again, for assuming and making blanket statements and not being loyal to my real friends.
I really WASNT upset with all of you. I just felt I needed to convey what was on my chest. *GASP* Denver has really taught me that you have to break a few eggs before a cake is made. But then again, blaming you all for everything and not blaming me for poor planning or words out of context really didnt help the situation.
However, it doesn't help as far as communicating with me when my phone doesn't work in Albia, and that no one probably has my mom's house's number. So this lack of communication is even moreso my fault because of a shitty phone.
The blog is a double-edged sword sometimes. Not only does it cut ya goin in and comin out, it can be read the wrong way or can convey subtexts not intended.
To summarize: I'm a bitch, need to get my head out of my ass, you all are cool but PLEASE keep me from going to the LXG, and Dana/I wished you could have met her. This all means I'm so wrong for being pig-headed and nutshots from you all would be very well deserved if targeted at me.
*heart warming sitcom hug or well placed groin injury goes here*
So Wednesday or Thursday, Andy? Call my mothers house in albia (Albia numbers and 5023) and you'll need to yammer on the machine a bit so I can get past the 1000 animals and answer the damn phone.
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