Why don't slugs leap to their doom?
Pull the trigger.
You’ve been talking about it for a long time now, why don’t you just do it? Do you not know how?
Let me give you a walkthrough.
First, you load the gun. You’ll probably only need one bullet. You might as well use the expensive bullets because, well, it isn’t going to matter much afterwards, is it?
Pull back the slide, loading a cartridge into the chamber.
Now, stick the gun in your mouth. (Barrel first!)
Cock back the hammer so it’ll take less effort to pull the trigger.
Now pull the fucking trigger.
What? Oh, I forgot to tell you to take the safety off.
Take the safety off.
Now squeeze the little trigger.
Oh wait! Hold on, you shouldn’t do that yet!
We forgot to put the garbage bags down. You don’t want your grieving friends and loved ones cleaning bits of your cerebellum from the walls, do you?
Okay, I think that’s pretty much everything. Feel free to pull that trigger whenever. There’s nothing holding you back, nothing stopping you. Nothing between you and the Great Hereafter. Of course, according to most faiths, the Great Hereafter for you will likely be eternal torment or reincarnation as a slug. Don’t despair though! The Japanese are behind you 100%.
Life as a slug would be better than the life you’ve created for yourself here on earth anyway, wouldn’t it? You’ve given yourself nothing to live for, right? Luckily for you, a slug’s purpose in life is already defined for it. It eats leaves and reproduces to make more slugs!
What’s that? You didn’t create this life for yourself? It isn’t your fault? Life was unfair to you? Someone else is to blame? You didn’t do it?
Oh yes you did.
There are no victims, my friend. There are no poor unlucky souls. There are only two things:
Possibilities and justice.
Possibilities: The possibility of a better life for you exists. It is up to you to turn that possibility into reality. You and you alone. It will be a product of your imagination, your determination and your focus.
Justice: Your poor choices will come back to haunt you.
These are the tools you have to work with. You can go make something with them.
Or you can pull the trigger and just give up.
You’ve been talking about it for a long time now, why don’t you just do it? Do you not know how?
Let me give you a walkthrough.
First, you load the gun. You’ll probably only need one bullet. You might as well use the expensive bullets because, well, it isn’t going to matter much afterwards, is it?
Pull back the slide, loading a cartridge into the chamber.
Now, stick the gun in your mouth. (Barrel first!)
Cock back the hammer so it’ll take less effort to pull the trigger.
Now pull the fucking trigger.
What? Oh, I forgot to tell you to take the safety off.
Take the safety off.
Now squeeze the little trigger.
Oh wait! Hold on, you shouldn’t do that yet!
We forgot to put the garbage bags down. You don’t want your grieving friends and loved ones cleaning bits of your cerebellum from the walls, do you?
Okay, I think that’s pretty much everything. Feel free to pull that trigger whenever. There’s nothing holding you back, nothing stopping you. Nothing between you and the Great Hereafter. Of course, according to most faiths, the Great Hereafter for you will likely be eternal torment or reincarnation as a slug. Don’t despair though! The Japanese are behind you 100%.
Life as a slug would be better than the life you’ve created for yourself here on earth anyway, wouldn’t it? You’ve given yourself nothing to live for, right? Luckily for you, a slug’s purpose in life is already defined for it. It eats leaves and reproduces to make more slugs!
What’s that? You didn’t create this life for yourself? It isn’t your fault? Life was unfair to you? Someone else is to blame? You didn’t do it?
Oh yes you did.
There are no victims, my friend. There are no poor unlucky souls. There are only two things:
Possibilities and justice.
Possibilities: The possibility of a better life for you exists. It is up to you to turn that possibility into reality. You and you alone. It will be a product of your imagination, your determination and your focus.
Justice: Your poor choices will come back to haunt you.
These are the tools you have to work with. You can go make something with them.
Or you can pull the trigger and just give up.
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