These orphans aren't going to eat themselves . . .

I just saw some weird commercial on cartoon network for a video game/cartoon about a guy who eats orphans, beats up constables and fends off prostitutes (or not?). Seriously screwed up. I thought I wanted to see a fat video game hooker attack . . . until I saw it.

I'm in Minneapolis right now, preparing to sleep at a strange motel where, not far away, Tim and Sarah are probably already sleeping. On little cots in separate rooms. So I've heard.

Tim told me about the unconstitutional hour this state stopped serving booze, but I didn't understand the severity of the problem until I got here at eleven pm to find the only place I could buy alcohol above 3.2% per can was TGI Friday's. Alas, if only there were bars in Bloomingdale, or whatever teetotaling suburb this happens to be. I'm going to write a letter to the local government representative du jour and let them know exactly how fucking inconvenient that shit is for me. Cater to my alcoholism, damn you Minnesota! Or I swear I'll start poisoning the moose population!

Bridge neglecting bastards.