Full of exclamation points

Guess what?

Today I got fired!

After I taught my morning class, I stopped off at the post office and there was mail! For me! From the university's parent company. They had deemed me UNEMPLOYABLE.

If you're like me, you may be wondering, what did Tim do? I will tell you: he supplied dishonest employment history information.

How did the credit check agency determine this? By calling the marketing company where I worked for 7 days and finding out that the receptionist had never heard of me!

But that's not all! They also called Voc Rehab and were told they'd have to contact another department to verify my employment there.

Too much work! I must have been a terrorist!

Then when I called the parent company, I had to leave a voicemail! Then when I emailed people at my school, I heard nothing back!

Then the parent company called me while I ate pancakes full of walnuts and syrup (it's totally worth it to spring for the expensive dark kind) and told me oops! It was all a mistake!

NOBODY KNOWS WHY IT HAPPENED!

Obviously I'm a little upset.