Illegal!

I was with a group of people (Allison, Dan, and about 4 other people) coming from downtown Denver. It was a nice night, some of us had a couple drinks. We were doing nothing illegal at all. Seven very legal kids walking home from a very legal establishment.

That is, until we walked through the park at 12:30pm.

Apparently there is this unwritten rule about walking through city parks. An unposted law stating that it is illegal. The city doesn't want to people sleeping in the parks. The city doesn't want people to be in the parks.

The city also doesn't want us to walk through the parks, despite all the lights being on, no gates, no signs stating said law, and nothing prohibiting people walking through the parks, especially after 11pm.

We were seriously half way through the park. Right in the middle, even, where there is a bunch of architecture. We see a cop car, and then we see Officer Doofy and his bumbling assistant. Doofy flashes his crime stopping magic light stick at us, announcing "Hey! You!"

"The park is closed. You are in violation blah blah blah."

We don't know this.

"You need to leave. Now." Magically teleport with our mutant powers off the park lots. We can't do that.

Do you want us to cut through the grass?

"STAY ON THE SIDEWALK! ENTERING THE PARK WHEN IT IS CLOSED IS PUNISHABLE BY GOING TO PRISON!" Baaawwww the park is closed! When we go home, we'll take out our aggressions towards you unamerican art students on our defenseless wives who we beat on a nightly basis.

They escorted the criminal scum (us, people who are walking through a park) out of the park. Our friend John looks like Morgan but more piratey. The cops had their hands on their pieces the whole time, fearing perhaps John would pull out his blunderbuss or musket and begin anarchy.

"We're going to let you all off with a warning. Next time, we'll haul you off to jail." For breaking the cardinal sin of entering a park. After hours! Who's to say the next time they see me, I'll be a man? Do these baconmongers have photographic memory? Or do these sorry sacks of shit have Park Antiterrorism Duty every night? They must expect deviants like us to pass through the park on our way to commit heinous and unspeakable evils and/or crimes.

I am so fucking livid about this. They treated us all like we were terrorists. Maybe all of us clean clothed kids were going to camp there! Maybe we were going to squat and sell drugs! The horror! People are entering a public area that is well lit and are doing nothing illegal at all! We must be up to malicious acts of modern day miscreants! Maybe, God help us all, we were going to distribute pamphlets and brochures! Maybe we were using the sidewalks for what they were made for (walking). Or perhaps maybe they could be patrolling the actual drug grottos that are emerging around our city for the real fucking criminals. Art kids are going to spray paint our beautiful city and they are going to begin in the park! Shoot to kill!

Fuck the Denver Police. All they do is beat up black people. They probably resell the drugs they confiscate. Hell, everyone who is a Denver native sells and smokes the shit. These are not stereotypes.

All I am saying is that there is better things to do than keeping law abiding kids out of parks at night. Who else will keep these well lit areas under control? Anarchy will rule when people are allowed to walk the streets at night.

This picture should really say Park's Closed. Fucking pig dogs...