Beard of Bees

Guess who used health insurance for the first time in like five years to get a physical this morning? And guess who's in kickass shape! "Wow," the doctor said, after his assistants stripped my torso of gummy EKG sensors, "you're like the fucking Terminator." Really he didn't say that. Don't expect me to be all curvaceous and sleek when I show up for Kevin's wedding. I was just relieved not to be as close to death as I'd expected over the past year or so, since our company's half-ass med-student-administered physical listed me as slightly high blood pressure (which I've apparently taken care of with my steady diet of cheeseburgers and Dogfish Head).

Speaking of Kevin's wedding, probably this realization has hit all of you already, but: it's the day after the high school reunion! Ridiculous! Sorry, Kevin, we've got fancyass drinks to order at Murph's while holding awkward conversations with ex-jocks.

Sarah and I had also hoped to persuade Wes to get engaged and schedule his wedding for 19 September. Think of the drama! It'd be all MTV's Undressed. Except I guess with less undressing.

Save it for marriage, Kevin.

This post has turned unexpectedly Hendercentric.

I could totally see Vorwald with a beard of bees.