Tasing the Sleepy Bear
In honor of Amish’s birthing, I will relate a tale of near harassment of a public official.
It was the last weekend in June and I was in the Albia bar drinking bottles of bud light and trying to connect with people I used to know. Things were going okay and I was getting pretty sloshed when all of a sudden two Albia policemen appeared at the back of the bar. Apparently, they were doing a walkthrough to make sure everyone was smoking out on the back porch and not in the bar. I looked at the name stitched on the first cop’s very uncoplike yellow shirt. It read “Sharf.”
Immediately, Amish’s taser story flashed in my mind. I saw it all as Amish describes it—the grisly image of Amish being zapped twice with a taser, beaten with a collapsible baton, then pepper sprayed while he lay handcuffed and helpless on the ground. An unjustified electrocution and beating perpetrated by the yellow-shirted son-of-a-bitch walking past me!
I smiled and offered my hand. “Matt Sharf,” I said, “I hear you’re doing a really great job keeping the peace here in Aliba!” He shook my hand and gave me an uneasy look. “Who told you that?”
“My good friend Justin Gillespie!”
He looked away and let go of my hand. “I don’t think he’d have much good to say about me.”
“Well, he said you’re pretty quick to use a taser on a guy.” My smile faded into a stone cold glare.
The cop glared back. “Well, if you do what I tell you to, things like that don’t happen.”
I smirked. “Oh, I’ll be sure to stay in the car.”
He said it again. “If you do what I tell you to things like that don’t happen.”
“Cause your word is law, right?” I stood firm, waiting for him to say it again. The next time I was going to say something like, “Maybe I’ll just stay in Des Moines where the cops have better things to do than taser people for fun. Like shoot rapists and people threatening suicide.”
He didn’t repeat it though. He just said, “You have yourself a good night.” Then he turned and marched out of the bar.
A weekend later I was talking to the Murphy kid, who happened to be standing in front of the bar when Sharf exited. “Who is that guy with the curly hair?” he asked. “He’s about to get arrested.” The Murphy kid said he didn’t know. He also told me Amish wasn’t the only person in Albia to feel the business end of Sharf’s taser. Apparently its becoming common for police to use a taser whenever they think someone might not be immediately complying with their wishes.
Just take a look at these links:
Tase early, tase often
Tase a 14-year-old girl in the head!
The misuse of tasers has gotten completely out of hand.
It was the last weekend in June and I was in the Albia bar drinking bottles of bud light and trying to connect with people I used to know. Things were going okay and I was getting pretty sloshed when all of a sudden two Albia policemen appeared at the back of the bar. Apparently, they were doing a walkthrough to make sure everyone was smoking out on the back porch and not in the bar. I looked at the name stitched on the first cop’s very uncoplike yellow shirt. It read “Sharf.”
Immediately, Amish’s taser story flashed in my mind. I saw it all as Amish describes it—the grisly image of Amish being zapped twice with a taser, beaten with a collapsible baton, then pepper sprayed while he lay handcuffed and helpless on the ground. An unjustified electrocution and beating perpetrated by the yellow-shirted son-of-a-bitch walking past me!
I smiled and offered my hand. “Matt Sharf,” I said, “I hear you’re doing a really great job keeping the peace here in Aliba!” He shook my hand and gave me an uneasy look. “Who told you that?”
“My good friend Justin Gillespie!”
He looked away and let go of my hand. “I don’t think he’d have much good to say about me.”
“Well, he said you’re pretty quick to use a taser on a guy.” My smile faded into a stone cold glare.
The cop glared back. “Well, if you do what I tell you to, things like that don’t happen.”
I smirked. “Oh, I’ll be sure to stay in the car.”
He said it again. “If you do what I tell you to things like that don’t happen.”
“Cause your word is law, right?” I stood firm, waiting for him to say it again. The next time I was going to say something like, “Maybe I’ll just stay in Des Moines where the cops have better things to do than taser people for fun. Like shoot rapists and people threatening suicide.”
He didn’t repeat it though. He just said, “You have yourself a good night.” Then he turned and marched out of the bar.
A weekend later I was talking to the Murphy kid, who happened to be standing in front of the bar when Sharf exited. “Who is that guy with the curly hair?” he asked. “He’s about to get arrested.” The Murphy kid said he didn’t know. He also told me Amish wasn’t the only person in Albia to feel the business end of Sharf’s taser. Apparently its becoming common for police to use a taser whenever they think someone might not be immediately complying with their wishes.
Just take a look at these links:
Tase early, tase often
Tase a 14-year-old girl in the head!
The misuse of tasers has gotten completely out of hand.
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