OK Im not going to lie. This is all fucking true and has happened in the last 10 minutes...Im not one to cast stereotypes about Mormons but...just hear these facts out:

1) Jo just smuggled a hampster in here (hes a mormon)
2) There are a lot of cardboard poster tubes around here
3) There are plenty of matches here
4) FUCKING MORMONS

Please dont let this happen...im runnin away now.