i'm feeling a little curious...a little bi-curious...
So tonight, after much intrigue and manipulation, I scored a visit to this guy in Newton who's selling a cheap sexy car. Well, the car was in excellent condition and fit directly into my budget, so I said "I'd like to buy it tonight." What does he say? Well, he told someone else he'd let them look at it tomorrow. I think about the wad of hundreds in my jacket pocket. I'll buy it now. Well, uh, well, dur, uh, heh, hyuck, why are you holding a shotgun? he sure told them he'd let them see it, and he'll call me if they don't want it. What the fuck? God damn him and his excellent, inexpensive, well-maintained car.
Holy federal agents, Batman--TNT plays X-Files all night. Alyssa is near death with a cold and I'm watching TV in the living room. Howdy doody!
As stated in the chat sec: does the 9 pm meeting time mean Thurs. or Fri.? Either is fine--with any luck I'll have to be here in DM Saturday morning to register a car. My address is 7502 Royal Road, which is about five minutes from Southridge Mall. So failing your finding of my address, I can meet you--whoever you is--at the mall.
And I will likely be in town Saturday night, unless an overwhelming majority wants to be in DM. Pretty much I'm at the will of the people.
Here's a techno song we thought of:
Before we begin:
'Bumbababum' means a sort of trady (where trady means traditional) techno song entrance, heavy on the bass.
"Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" means a sort of tongue-rolling drumbeat declining in pitch.
Well, to hell with this. The basics are that it goes like this.
Bumbababumbaba bum...
MALE VOICE: I'm feelin a little curious
Bumbababumbaba bum...
SAME VOICE: A little BI . . . curious.
(drums pick up)
FEMALE VOICE: I'M feeling a little curious.
Bumbababablahblah
FEMALE VOICE: A Little BI . . . curious.
(drums continue, as is predictable)
MALE VOICE, ENTHUSIASTIC: I'M FEELIN A LITTLE CURIOUS! A LITTLE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII CURIOUS!
DRUMS EXPLODE. SOUND OF MAN-ON-MAN MOANING COMMENCE.
I think you get the idea of the song.
...
Whilst I toiled in the research mines, dredging deep wells of popups, humor sites, and author interviews for gems relating to my employment, my girlfriend took the liberty of writing a post. In a generous show of . . . generosity, I'm going to put it up:
Hello, friends of Tim. This is Alyssa, the girlfriend. Some of you may know me as 'that girl that Tim talks about sometimes' some of you may know me from such events as new years, and that bar where I called some guy a jackass.
my other attempts at leaving a brief message at this site were thwarted by my boyfriend. My first message was a detailed tribute to Tim's handsomeness and sexiness, to which he said, "they all know of my highly-publicized deductive abilities and almost superhuman physique" and "There is no way I'm posting that." The second time was maybe two weeks ago, and I was writing an informative, riveting essay about halo. Had I not slipped in a joke about the stupidity of southern Iowans (hilarious, hilarious joke about southern Iowans) you maybe have actually gotten to read that one, but it vanished in a mysterious "I must have pushed the wrong button and now everything you typed is gone!" incident. Tim is allowing me to write a message for the first time in regards to something spectacular in my life.
Not long ago I began experimenting with a strange unusual thing known as
a first person shooter….. and on my mystical quest, battling alien after human, after guys named after aqua teen, I began to realize, I was developing a rather hearty blood lust.
I wanted to share with you all my astounding accomplishment, because I have observed that some of you
live
breathe
halo- or at least … like to play it sometimes.
Last night I got 6 kills in one game! Breaking my previous record by two shots! I screamed with joy, tears rolling down my cheeks as I shouted- oh my god, Tim do you see that???? yes I know it sounds amazing, 6 kills, in one game! That was like my previous grand total. I was still in last place, but so what!? It was a feat worth mentioning.
...
Tim again: about her learning experience at Halo: Let's just say that after her third game, the entire post-game conversation consisted of "you fucking nigger. You jew. God, I can't believe you oriental Mexican whitebitch got one kill." At which point I completely snapped and said something into the headset asking the guy why he was playing a training game by himself if he'd already got to the point where he can yell at newbies. And as much gaming as I do, when the hell did all the racial slurs turn into abbreviated forms of "you must not have mastered the skills of the game yet"? Grorg.
...
So my apartment company told me that I could move out, as long as I move to one of their properties, and don't move until May 1. They told me to go look at apartments now. Well, they have about three two-bedroom apts. Alyssa and I went to one and the guy was appalled that I wasn't going to rent it for April, in addition to my current Apt. Nevermind that rent is $535 and deposit is $400, and so my total resident expenses for the month would have been $1345...if I wanted to live in Des Moines, I should have thought of that before.
...
Anyone planning on being up here during the week next week? Alyssa just started working here in DM and thus will be staying with me, and thus there's not really much room for overnighters in this little cardboard box of a living quarters, but I'm up for most anything else any night of next week.
...
I just got, in the mail, an excellent set of radio plays in the tradition of Tales From the Crypt, produced by the SciFi channel's Seeing Ear Theater. Haven't listened to them yet, but they promise to be excellent. Hey, one is called "Zombie!" Can you argue that? No. No you can't.
...
Skully is so hot.
...
OH! (this is my third edit) We need to get John an account. I know he's not well-known, especially among the admins, but Goat and Wells and me and Kelly, to some degree, can vouch for his excellence. Yes, he is excellent. Yes, he has better writing skills than your average bear. Yes, he is still a student and so I envy him, envy him more than Solomon, who not only had a shitload of gold but also IMMORTALITY, and is anyone going to go see The Fountain with me, made by the guy who made Pi, and which is about a guy whose wife has a terminal illness and so he (of course) travels through time in search of a cure? Yes. Yes, you are going to go to that movie with me. And yes, you will probably grant John an account. Or membership. Or whatever you call this. He tells me he's ready to undergo any sort of homoerotic hazing. And yes, he means ANY sort.
Holy federal agents, Batman--TNT plays X-Files all night. Alyssa is near death with a cold and I'm watching TV in the living room. Howdy doody!
As stated in the chat sec: does the 9 pm meeting time mean Thurs. or Fri.? Either is fine--with any luck I'll have to be here in DM Saturday morning to register a car. My address is 7502 Royal Road, which is about five minutes from Southridge Mall. So failing your finding of my address, I can meet you--whoever you is--at the mall.
And I will likely be in town Saturday night, unless an overwhelming majority wants to be in DM. Pretty much I'm at the will of the people.
Here's a techno song we thought of:
Before we begin:
'Bumbababum' means a sort of trady (where trady means traditional) techno song entrance, heavy on the bass.
"Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" means a sort of tongue-rolling drumbeat declining in pitch.
Well, to hell with this. The basics are that it goes like this.
Bumbababumbaba bum...
MALE VOICE: I'm feelin a little curious
Bumbababumbaba bum...
SAME VOICE: A little BI . . . curious.
(drums pick up)
FEMALE VOICE: I'M feeling a little curious.
Bumbababablahblah
FEMALE VOICE: A Little BI . . . curious.
(drums continue, as is predictable)
MALE VOICE, ENTHUSIASTIC: I'M FEELIN A LITTLE CURIOUS! A LITTLE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII CURIOUS!
DRUMS EXPLODE. SOUND OF MAN-ON-MAN MOANING COMMENCE.
I think you get the idea of the song.
...
Whilst I toiled in the research mines, dredging deep wells of popups, humor sites, and author interviews for gems relating to my employment, my girlfriend took the liberty of writing a post. In a generous show of . . . generosity, I'm going to put it up:
Hello, friends of Tim. This is Alyssa, the girlfriend. Some of you may know me as 'that girl that Tim talks about sometimes' some of you may know me from such events as new years, and that bar where I called some guy a jackass.
my other attempts at leaving a brief message at this site were thwarted by my boyfriend. My first message was a detailed tribute to Tim's handsomeness and sexiness, to which he said, "they all know of my highly-publicized deductive abilities and almost superhuman physique" and "There is no way I'm posting that." The second time was maybe two weeks ago, and I was writing an informative, riveting essay about halo. Had I not slipped in a joke about the stupidity of southern Iowans (hilarious, hilarious joke about southern Iowans) you maybe have actually gotten to read that one, but it vanished in a mysterious "I must have pushed the wrong button and now everything you typed is gone!" incident. Tim is allowing me to write a message for the first time in regards to something spectacular in my life.
Not long ago I began experimenting with a strange unusual thing known as
a first person shooter….. and on my mystical quest, battling alien after human, after guys named after aqua teen, I began to realize, I was developing a rather hearty blood lust.
I wanted to share with you all my astounding accomplishment, because I have observed that some of you
live
breathe
halo- or at least … like to play it sometimes.
Last night I got 6 kills in one game! Breaking my previous record by two shots! I screamed with joy, tears rolling down my cheeks as I shouted- oh my god, Tim do you see that???? yes I know it sounds amazing, 6 kills, in one game! That was like my previous grand total. I was still in last place, but so what!? It was a feat worth mentioning.
...
Tim again: about her learning experience at Halo: Let's just say that after her third game, the entire post-game conversation consisted of "you fucking nigger. You jew. God, I can't believe you oriental Mexican whitebitch got one kill." At which point I completely snapped and said something into the headset asking the guy why he was playing a training game by himself if he'd already got to the point where he can yell at newbies. And as much gaming as I do, when the hell did all the racial slurs turn into abbreviated forms of "you must not have mastered the skills of the game yet"? Grorg.
...
So my apartment company told me that I could move out, as long as I move to one of their properties, and don't move until May 1. They told me to go look at apartments now. Well, they have about three two-bedroom apts. Alyssa and I went to one and the guy was appalled that I wasn't going to rent it for April, in addition to my current Apt. Nevermind that rent is $535 and deposit is $400, and so my total resident expenses for the month would have been $1345...if I wanted to live in Des Moines, I should have thought of that before.
...
Anyone planning on being up here during the week next week? Alyssa just started working here in DM and thus will be staying with me, and thus there's not really much room for overnighters in this little cardboard box of a living quarters, but I'm up for most anything else any night of next week.
...
I just got, in the mail, an excellent set of radio plays in the tradition of Tales From the Crypt, produced by the SciFi channel's Seeing Ear Theater. Haven't listened to them yet, but they promise to be excellent. Hey, one is called "Zombie!" Can you argue that? No. No you can't.
...
Skully is so hot.
...
OH! (this is my third edit) We need to get John an account. I know he's not well-known, especially among the admins, but Goat and Wells and me and Kelly, to some degree, can vouch for his excellence. Yes, he is excellent. Yes, he has better writing skills than your average bear. Yes, he is still a student and so I envy him, envy him more than Solomon, who not only had a shitload of gold but also IMMORTALITY, and is anyone going to go see The Fountain with me, made by the guy who made Pi, and which is about a guy whose wife has a terminal illness and so he (of course) travels through time in search of a cure? Yes. Yes, you are going to go to that movie with me. And yes, you will probably grant John an account. Or membership. Or whatever you call this. He tells me he's ready to undergo any sort of homoerotic hazing. And yes, he means ANY sort.
0 Replies:
Post a Comment
<< Home