My upcoming trip to Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison

A pair of state troopers just stalked by my cubicle. Usually when this happens—with any employee—there's this casual turn of the head to stare at me. I'm starting to accept this, although it still pisses me off, because with many of them there's this look like "oh, so that's what you're doing on that computer" even when I'm reading about urinary tract infections or educational programs for prosthetists (impossible to find). But this damn trooper like..almost stopped, turned his head almost completely around like a fuckdamn owl, and held my eyes for a second. What the hell!

There was a break-in here over the weekend, which probably explains their presence. Some laptops were swiped, and someone's gold coin was taken out of a desk drawer. Now, what does this mean? The laptop stealing=okay, normal. But the thief allegedly got through several doors, and then either went through 2 or 3 hundred workstations or specifically popped open a few and found someone's gold coin.

It feels perverted, but I really want those troopers to come back for me and drag me off to the interrogation chamber. Because then I could get out of work for a while, maybe even the whole afternoon! They just need to let me go by 4:30.