The Great and Powerful Goathead Has Spoken!!!
Oh! So you think you can just sit your suave black ass in MY fucking chair and try to shmooze the girl I was talking to? Huh? Bitch!
Well, you've got another thing coming. I'm goan git choo sucka!
*chases a tall, bald black man down and beats the holy-motherfucking-hell out of him*
I hate Drink. It is such a stupid bar.
Mostly I hate it because I can not adequitely be a douchebag like most of the guys there. No amount of booze can make me walk up to girls I don't know and force my ego down their throats.
However, it wouldn't take much booze to convince me to stick my foot up the posterior of those fucking posers.
____________
This just in: The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.
____________
Tim will be subjected to ritual castration tonight. Anyone who wants to watch is welcome. The castration will take place wherever we manage to catch him. It will probably be just down the street from his apartment, as I imagine he isn't as fast as he used to be. And I am fleet of foot.
____________
You know that part in Fight Club where the Edward Norton character beats that blonde guy nearly to death? All the while he's narrating about how he wanted to destroy something beautiful. Something about oil spills and seagulls.
I felt that way like five minutes ago. It was a really weird sensation. It was like I had a ball of pure chaos and destruction stuck in my throat. I wanted to vomit it up and lay waste to whatever happened to be in its path.
I pictured myself walking down the hall and kicking one of the typists in the face. No warning whatsoever, just walk into her cube and put a sidekick square in her beak.
Then wait for security to come and escort me out.
___________
Some night I'm going to go to some bar like drink and be a complete asshole. I'm going to walk up to every good-looking girl there and throw some horrible pickup lines at them. I'm not going to stop until one of them agrees to come home with me. And then I'm going to hand her a certificate announcing that she is officially a stupid whore.
*beats head against desk*
I need to get more sleep.
Well, you've got another thing coming. I'm goan git choo sucka!
*chases a tall, bald black man down and beats the holy-motherfucking-hell out of him*
I hate Drink. It is such a stupid bar.
Mostly I hate it because I can not adequitely be a douchebag like most of the guys there. No amount of booze can make me walk up to girls I don't know and force my ego down their throats.
However, it wouldn't take much booze to convince me to stick my foot up the posterior of those fucking posers.
____________
This just in: The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.
____________
Tim will be subjected to ritual castration tonight. Anyone who wants to watch is welcome. The castration will take place wherever we manage to catch him. It will probably be just down the street from his apartment, as I imagine he isn't as fast as he used to be. And I am fleet of foot.
____________
You know that part in Fight Club where the Edward Norton character beats that blonde guy nearly to death? All the while he's narrating about how he wanted to destroy something beautiful. Something about oil spills and seagulls.
I felt that way like five minutes ago. It was a really weird sensation. It was like I had a ball of pure chaos and destruction stuck in my throat. I wanted to vomit it up and lay waste to whatever happened to be in its path.
I pictured myself walking down the hall and kicking one of the typists in the face. No warning whatsoever, just walk into her cube and put a sidekick square in her beak.
Then wait for security to come and escort me out.
___________
Some night I'm going to go to some bar like drink and be a complete asshole. I'm going to walk up to every good-looking girl there and throw some horrible pickup lines at them. I'm not going to stop until one of them agrees to come home with me. And then I'm going to hand her a certificate announcing that she is officially a stupid whore.
*beats head against desk*
I need to get more sleep.
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