CURSE YOU, MALEFICIENT!!!!!!!!!

Damn it. Piss. Shit cocks. Balls on my face, i say! I dont believe Amish had sex. I cant! I wont! Its not possible! Its like...Santa and the Easter Bunny fucked in front of the tooth fairy and then had a 3 way with Sasquatch & Nessie's love child, Carrottop.

I suck. I'm the last of my kind. Its like the world will need a virgin to possess super human powers and ...oopsie! None of you fucks will have it! I will...

...wait. Fuck! I still will be a lame asstard. And to boot, Lynn is patting me on the shoulder, as if to pity me. I need not pity: I need sexual experiences. With other people (Andy: NO GOATS)

I'm a pooor poor sorry sap and a sad panda.