You people mean nothing to me! Nothing!

Andy: It's true, last night I was too good for you. Far too good. My cellphone and I often don't get along, and here's why we were fighting last night: it was dead, and charging in another room.

Last night I forced myself to get some work done and it was god awful. It was a slog through a Siberian minefield. It was doing dishes at pizza hut without the automatic dishwasher. Only the online conversations with bar floozies at the end of the night saved my life.

That said—yous guys want to do anything tonight? We could tie ryan up above your balcony and beat him with iron rods that have been chilling in the freezer. Or we could insert those same frosty rods into his urethra. Or we could use glass rods, and then, once they're inserted, smack them with the metal rods, causing them to shatter into 10,000 crystals of eternal pain.

This is what happens to illiterate people.

And he'll never know! Because he can't read!

I'm an ass.

My boss's head is going to explode if I use the internet for personal reasons, so let's get to business:

1) Does anyone know of any schools teaching horse dentistry in the United States?

and

2) What sort of chair is best, ergonomically? With arms, without arms, swivel, non swivel?

No points will be awarded for answering any of these, so don't get excited. Ya damn hobo.

John---------------I am ready to film your dirty porn this weekend.

I think Wes has died of an abscessed tooth or maybe rotten liverwurst.