The Alpha male
Sunday night as I was racing back to Des Moines from Ames I was suddenly overtaken by a white blur. The only identifiable marking I could find on the blur was a pink Cubs sticker attached to it's hitch.
I said to Amish and Tim, "Hey, I know that Cubs sticker. That's a lady I work with!"
So I pressed the gas pedal down and took off after the white blur to confirm its identity. I was swerving in and out of lanes at ninty miles and hour in hot persuit of the blur and when I finally caught up, I discovered that it was, in fact, the lady I work with.
So naturally I gave her a lot of crap when I came in on Monday. But the crap I gave her was also very flirtatious, because I kind of have a little crush on this lady. Yes, she may be 36 years old; yes, she has three kids; and yes, I do work with her. But damn, if she isn't one of the hottest 36 year old divorcees I've ever seen.
My boss happened upon me while I was engaged in my crap giving/flirting, and he brought it up while we were at lunch yesterday. The two of us had gone out for some mexican food and practically the first thing he asked me was, "What were you and Jacque talking about yesterday?"
"Oh, I saw her driving like a bat out of hell coming back from Ames."
"Yeah, she's a wild one. Of course, you know how women are after they get divorced. You probably couldn't handle her."
Now this, as any man knows, is a challenge. My boss has just challenged my sexual prowess and I now have to defend myself.
"What do you mean I couldn't handle her? She's 36, I'm 23 -- I don't think she could handle me!"
"Oh, you don't know Jacque. She's a man eater, buddy. She would drink you under the table and then go home with your best friend."
Again, I have been issued a challenge and I am bound defend my honor yet again.
"What? Yeah right! Obviously you don't know me very well."
In a way, I have challenged my boss here. This is all a very intricate and ancient ritual to establish the dominancy of males. He is about to pull a very dirty card out of the deck.
"Oh really? Well, ask her out then and we'll find out."
Oh balls. This is a challenge of the highest order, if I back down from this I am admitting that I'm a spineless little coward.
"Sounds good. I'll have her bedded by Christmas."
Oh Andy, you damn fool.
So now I have to spend the next two months hitting on this 36-year-old woman if I want to save face. Well, I guess I don't really have to. I mean, my boss probably thought it was all a joke.
But I didn't.
I said to Amish and Tim, "Hey, I know that Cubs sticker. That's a lady I work with!"
So I pressed the gas pedal down and took off after the white blur to confirm its identity. I was swerving in and out of lanes at ninty miles and hour in hot persuit of the blur and when I finally caught up, I discovered that it was, in fact, the lady I work with.
So naturally I gave her a lot of crap when I came in on Monday. But the crap I gave her was also very flirtatious, because I kind of have a little crush on this lady. Yes, she may be 36 years old; yes, she has three kids; and yes, I do work with her. But damn, if she isn't one of the hottest 36 year old divorcees I've ever seen.
My boss happened upon me while I was engaged in my crap giving/flirting, and he brought it up while we were at lunch yesterday. The two of us had gone out for some mexican food and practically the first thing he asked me was, "What were you and Jacque talking about yesterday?"
"Oh, I saw her driving like a bat out of hell coming back from Ames."
"Yeah, she's a wild one. Of course, you know how women are after they get divorced. You probably couldn't handle her."
Now this, as any man knows, is a challenge. My boss has just challenged my sexual prowess and I now have to defend myself.
"What do you mean I couldn't handle her? She's 36, I'm 23 -- I don't think she could handle me!"
"Oh, you don't know Jacque. She's a man eater, buddy. She would drink you under the table and then go home with your best friend."
Again, I have been issued a challenge and I am bound defend my honor yet again.
"What? Yeah right! Obviously you don't know me very well."
In a way, I have challenged my boss here. This is all a very intricate and ancient ritual to establish the dominancy of males. He is about to pull a very dirty card out of the deck.
"Oh really? Well, ask her out then and we'll find out."
Oh balls. This is a challenge of the highest order, if I back down from this I am admitting that I'm a spineless little coward.
"Sounds good. I'll have her bedded by Christmas."
Oh Andy, you damn fool.
So now I have to spend the next two months hitting on this 36-year-old woman if I want to save face. Well, I guess I don't really have to. I mean, my boss probably thought it was all a joke.
But I didn't.
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