Helen Keller was a fucking HOAX
Iron Maiden, baby!
This will be my only line of defense in court:
(Pulling at hair, stringing out tie, flailing): This . . . this . . . this is a ballsing DONKEY SHOW of justice!
Check it out: Helen Keller: a bunch of bullshit.
I'll say it again:
Helen Keller = BULLSHIT!
I"ve always been confounded by her story: this deaf, dumb, blind kid learns how to communicte in signs? Learns to write? Learns to speak? Learns how to read five or six different languages in braille?
Obviously she stole her life story from Tommy.
But really, come on: how the balls could she possibly learn that stuff? Imagine that you can't hear words, can't see text. Some lady grabs your hand, shoves it in some water, and manipulates your fingers into a string of symbols. Okay, you know how to sign 'water.' But what about prepofuckingsitions? Adjectives? Colors? Touch your hand to the ball, Helen. That's red. No!
Helen Keller was either a hoax or a robot, and Anne Sullivan was a fucking con artist.
If you've been contacted by me within the past hour, you should consider yourself in the know, and I will likely see you tonight. If you were not contacted, you should consider yourself DEAD to me and WORTHLESS to the people of the world at large (unless you're Cricket). It would be better for the rest of us if you would kill yourself at once, and stop using up our precious broadband, Mountain Dew, postage stamps, sumatra coffee, twine, aerons, mortar, central heat, yakskin coats, samurai blades, ninja maneuvers, internal combustion, ETC. Or, if you are morally opposed to killing yourself, we could use this space to organize some sort of group voluntary homicide; each of you kills another, etc.
This will be my only line of defense in court:
(Pulling at hair, stringing out tie, flailing): This . . . this . . . this is a ballsing DONKEY SHOW of justice!
Check it out: Helen Keller: a bunch of bullshit.
I'll say it again:
Helen Keller = BULLSHIT!
I"ve always been confounded by her story: this deaf, dumb, blind kid learns how to communicte in signs? Learns to write? Learns to speak? Learns how to read five or six different languages in braille?
Obviously she stole her life story from Tommy.
But really, come on: how the balls could she possibly learn that stuff? Imagine that you can't hear words, can't see text. Some lady grabs your hand, shoves it in some water, and manipulates your fingers into a string of symbols. Okay, you know how to sign 'water.' But what about prepofuckingsitions? Adjectives? Colors? Touch your hand to the ball, Helen. That's red. No!
Helen Keller was either a hoax or a robot, and Anne Sullivan was a fucking con artist.
If you've been contacted by me within the past hour, you should consider yourself in the know, and I will likely see you tonight. If you were not contacted, you should consider yourself DEAD to me and WORTHLESS to the people of the world at large (unless you're Cricket). It would be better for the rest of us if you would kill yourself at once, and stop using up our precious broadband, Mountain Dew, postage stamps, sumatra coffee, twine, aerons, mortar, central heat, yakskin coats, samurai blades, ninja maneuvers, internal combustion, ETC. Or, if you are morally opposed to killing yourself, we could use this space to organize some sort of group voluntary homicide; each of you kills another, etc.
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