No offense, but you're going to require a kick in the nuts

I'm on vacation, so I've been very drunk lately. Not as drunk as Ryan though. That MF-er can drink! So can all my friends though. Krispy told me tonight that he drank a quarter of a keg of Rock Bottom's Iron Horse stout. That is a shitload of beer! I don't think I could handle it and Krispy...fucking Krispy drank it. No offense to Krispy, but I've never thought of him as much of a drinker, and he put me to shame! Tim can drink more than me...Ryan can drink more than me...fuck, Sarah can drink more than me! But Sarah is also a damn drinking prodegy...so maybe I shouldn't feel bad about her.

I spent this weekend in South Bend Indiana immursing myself in Nortre Dame and football and stuff I know most of you probably wouldn't be interested in since you don't watch football and you basically were frightened by contact sports when you were young, so I won't bore you with a bunch of football-related stories about Notre Dame. I will tell you this, however: If you can't drink all day, don't start at 7 A.M.

So Nick, or slicknickwiththediamondick (which, by the way, should have been a dead giveaway) is the real Nick? The Nick from high school? What the balls? I thought he was hobnobing and rubbing elbows with Hollywood producers, wasn't he? Isn't that what Dave told me? I fear I was lied to. Why would he take time out of his busy hollywood schedule to post comments on our humble blog?