Fuckk!!!!!!
I swear the counselor on the other side of my cubicle just said, "Spicy sorority girls."
Last night I was hit with inspiration: Fuckk!!!!!!
Fuckk!!!!!! will be the greatest and best bar in Des Moines.
Fuckk!!!!!! will feature insane drink specials.
When you come to Fuckk!!!!!! you will be greeted (and carded) by me in a tiny cardboard tank costume. All you will see is my hands and naked arms, and you will wonder: is he wearing any clothes at all (and the answer will be, of course, no. As it is right now.)
At Fuckk!!!!! everybody can dance and have fun, but when the red light in the ceiling flashes and the siren sounds, Dave will jump onto the bar in a cowboy vest and a stetson and nothing else, and he will scream: "Barrrrrrrrrrrrr fight!" And then the Fuckk!!!!!! bar fight will commence. Lucky for you, the furniture is all built to break away, and the windows are made of candied glass, just like at your favorite gingerbread house. Just wait till Naked Cowboy Wells reaches into the walk-in cooler, because then it's time to throw the baby seals into the mix! Swing one of these at your date's snaggletoothed face for a night she won't forget!
And when some confused, disoriented biker (didn't this place used to be the pool hall?) finally sets you on fire, don't worry! That sprinkler system is loaded with cheap vodka! Open your mouth and look to the heavens!
But normal nights at Fuckk!!!!!! are fun too! You can find Cowboy Wells there in his natural attire, dancing on the bar in nothing but a baggy pair of tighty whities, a strobe lighting up all the luscious curves of his manbody. And I'll be behind the bar in a 1600s French military uniform that can't hide the demented grin on my face. I'll be squeezing the balls out of a bottle of chocolate syrup, scribing the message of your choice all over Wells's back. I might even douse him in powdered sugar.
And any night of the week could be the night we fire up the dancefloor canon full of cat organs and bloody mary mix!
Andy, is there anything I forgot? (Andy was with me last night when I created the business model.)
Last night I was hit with inspiration: Fuckk!!!!!!
Fuckk!!!!!! will be the greatest and best bar in Des Moines.
Fuckk!!!!!! will feature insane drink specials.
When you come to Fuckk!!!!!! you will be greeted (and carded) by me in a tiny cardboard tank costume. All you will see is my hands and naked arms, and you will wonder: is he wearing any clothes at all (and the answer will be, of course, no. As it is right now.)
At Fuckk!!!!! everybody can dance and have fun, but when the red light in the ceiling flashes and the siren sounds, Dave will jump onto the bar in a cowboy vest and a stetson and nothing else, and he will scream: "Barrrrrrrrrrrrr fight!" And then the Fuckk!!!!!! bar fight will commence. Lucky for you, the furniture is all built to break away, and the windows are made of candied glass, just like at your favorite gingerbread house. Just wait till Naked Cowboy Wells reaches into the walk-in cooler, because then it's time to throw the baby seals into the mix! Swing one of these at your date's snaggletoothed face for a night she won't forget!
And when some confused, disoriented biker (didn't this place used to be the pool hall?) finally sets you on fire, don't worry! That sprinkler system is loaded with cheap vodka! Open your mouth and look to the heavens!
But normal nights at Fuckk!!!!!! are fun too! You can find Cowboy Wells there in his natural attire, dancing on the bar in nothing but a baggy pair of tighty whities, a strobe lighting up all the luscious curves of his manbody. And I'll be behind the bar in a 1600s French military uniform that can't hide the demented grin on my face. I'll be squeezing the balls out of a bottle of chocolate syrup, scribing the message of your choice all over Wells's back. I might even douse him in powdered sugar.
And any night of the week could be the night we fire up the dancefloor canon full of cat organs and bloody mary mix!
Andy, is there anything I forgot? (Andy was with me last night when I created the business model.)
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