That’s it! I’m just going to plunge a straightened paperclip through my eardrum. FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

Oh, Cavuto, you silly bastard. What a kidder you are!



Don’t let the question mark fool you; Fox (or Faux, if you prefer) News is insinuating that we are already at war with Iran. This, of course, is their way of softening up their audience so they won’t be surprised when the bombs start dropping.

If you’d like a couple of (banish the thought!) opposing viewpoints, here are a couple of interesting links:

U.S. Army Chief: Iran dispute ‘long way’ from military solution

Madeleine Albright: Bush’s worldview fails to see that in the Middle East, power politics is the key


BAH! Enough political flim-flam!

On to more important issues: ME! I have a medical condition that I know will baffle any doctor in Albia. Last weekend I got a cold and had a fluid buildup in my right ear. I could tell there was fluid in it by the pressure I felt and the way my hearing was muffled. Usually, such a condition leads to middle ear infection. However, middle ear infection is accompanied by such classic symptoms as fever and mild to severe earache. I have neither of those symptoms.

Now it has been nearly a week, I’ve experienced no symptoms concurrent with infection, my cold is pretty much gone and my fucking ear still feels like it has fluid in it! I want to go to the doctor, but I know they’ll just give me an antibiotic and send me home--the ignorant bastards!

I think the only solution is for me to perform Tympanocentesis on myself.