Are you aroused yet?!

How you can have your David Wells Party:
1) Either kidnap all the panties (like our hero, Happosai here) of all the females of the US Congress and hold the underoos for ransom of a round-trip ticket.

2) Pitch in circa $300 for round trip tickets. Each person donates 15 dollars. After 20 folks are particiioned, then there will be like....300 dollars.

3) We will win the lottery and do nothing for the rest of our lives. We will feast on ramens, pop tarts, and instant tea. And we can play lawn darts. LAWN DARTS until we explode!!!

4) Say eff it and let me rot here.

Hold up: I owe Bil like...$60 for a trip of me back home from back in 2004. I completely forgot about that until just now. Damn. Im so in debt.