MAN

MAN Sarah and I both had to arise at 7:30 this morning. SEVEN
BUTT-FUCKING THIRTY. Those of you even one time zone over probably
weren't even awake. Usually I would not have been awake. The alarm
went off and I came out of a dream probably inspired by this short
story I read recently where a robot was surgery-ing people together
into living sculptures and my heart was flaring and I zombied my way
to work where I then tutored somebody on the finer points of essay
writing at a time when I am usually trying to get comfortable with the
cat prancing around the bed, nuzzling my knees.

We have this building manager here who comes in at 6 am and leaves at
3. Now, this schedule could be mine if I craved it, and this guy seems
thrilled constantly to be showing up when barely anyone is here
(though some classes on our campus start at 5) and leaving when the
sun is still high and everyone else is slumping over their desks, but
I have no idea how to wake up early. I've been working on this for a
while, as I have a gym membership that has only been good, for a while
now, for draining my bank account, but I can not pull myself out of
bed. And on the days when I can, I can't pull myself down the hall.
How do you re-engineer your sleep schedule? Has anyone done this
successfully without absolutely having to?