At the office, Jesus is an ass.

So, Bob goes into the break room for some coffee. He sees Jesus emptying the pot into his "I(heart)You" cup.

"Hey Jesus, is that the last of the coffee?" Bob questions.
"Yep, and we're out of grounds" Jesus replies as he pours creamer into the coffee.
"Damn," says Bob, "I could really use it"

Suddenly, Jesus gets a disgusted look on his face after he takes his first drink "BLEH! I hate creamer in my coffee!" and poors the contents out.
"God, you're an ass, Jesus!" Bob yells
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Same break room, different day. Bob and several co-workers have forgotten their lunch and are eating week-old cake left in the break room fridge. Jesus suddenly walks in and has a giant box of pizza.

"Jesus! Youve brought pizza!" Bob shouts hopefully as his insides eat themselves.
"Yep! And its going on the floor!" Jesus proclaims as he throws the pizza face down onto the floor.
"Damn it Jesus! Youre such an ass!"
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Break room again. Bob enters seeing Jesus eating donuts/doughnuts (fuck you Andy, you fucking dick! Always nay-saying! You try to invent something like inward singing!!!) by the window sill.

"Woah! Pastries!" Bob says in his hungry break-induced state.
Jesus replies, "Yep, and they're going out the window!"
"Damn it,Jesus, I hate you!" Bob barks.
"BUT I LOVE YOU!" replied Jesus.