God damn, I swear, every time I regret this Follies decision, I look at the police blotter and get excited all over again. As promised a thousand years ago, here's my pics. I took out the ones I didn't like. I left Dave's yesses regardless of whether I liked them or not. We can make more cuts later. Oh, and change up the order.
Caller reported while crossing railroad tracks, crossing arms started coming down and smashed into the boat he was pulling. No train coming. DUMB No, this one can be good! Just imagine the physical action; Dave driving, Andy in the boat behind...
Caller requested officer to help retrieve item mistakenly dropped in library book return. Dave dumping a baby?
Caller reported dog at large chasing a person. Officer unable to locate. DUMB
Caller reported that his sister was involved with an accident overnight in which she didn¹t think there was enough damage to report but found there was. She also took down a weight limit sign. WEAK
Citizen called to report a fire behind a local business. An officer stated all was in order. It was a controlled burn. NOT FUNNY This one is bad, but I'd love to say 'controlled burn' into a mic.
Caller reported two males hitting each other at the reservoir. Officer responded. No one saw anything or knew anything. YES.
Woman advised her husband was breathing fast and shallow. (Please do this one and make it as amorous as possible) ...wtf Well, like Dave, I'm thinking WTF as well, but what Daddy Paxton wants, I suppose Daddy Pax can get. Although...I don't know how.
Officer responded to a suspicious person following a woman. It was found to be a subject applying for jobs at local businesses. ..doable
Officer responded to high school in reference to a fight in progress. All was in order. Kids were just playing. YES
Caller reported juveniles throwing water balloons and she had almost been hit. Officer took away the balloons. ...not sure if want
Suspicious fire/juvenile trouble involving clothing and a dryer. YES
Anonymous female subject reported that some girls were lying in the road sunbathing. Officer unable to locate. MAYBE frantic horny goathead driving swiftly around the stage?
Person called to report seeing a shadow go by her window. Officer was unable to locate.
Subject called reporting that up until today, he and his neighbor across the hall had been close friends, but they had a disagreement and the neighbor called him everything but a white man. The neighbor has some property like his car keys, P.O. box keys and he’d like to have them back, but if goes and knocks on the door, there will be a fight. Officer responded and assisted and all was fine. YES Eh...I don't know about this one
Deputy responded to a call from Locktronics that an alarm had sounded at a rural residence. Officer responded and found a person planting trees with permission.
An officer advised he was flagged down by a citizen who reported that there were goats in the roadway. Officers assisted in rounding them up and putting them back where they belong. YES
A person reported that there was a big sick bird in her yard and she would like someone to remove it. Animal control responded and advised it was a hawk that had frozen to death. He removed the bird. YES
An individual called and stated that someone had cut off her horse’s tail. YES Fucking awesome. Bigass axe swing or something.
A person called and reported she thought some girls were outside her home and she wanted an officer to come down and check it out. An officer arrived and reported that the noise she heard was a bunny rabbit caught in some sheeting.
An individual called in reference to his brother hitting a cow near the Avery pyramids. 30s style boxing?
An individual called to report that her couch, chair and bed were vibrating. A deputy responded. YES YES YES This as the closer?
A person called in and advised that there was a female that was screaming over by the library. Everything was okay, the female was talking very loudly. YES
A person reported that her son had hit a cow on his way to work on the road between Blakesburg and Moravia.
An anonymous female reported that a vehicle was sitting in front of a local school. An officer went to the school and reported that everything was okay, they were square dancing. YES YES This as the closer? Or second-to-last?
Citizen advised that a man was sitting at the intersection and had been there for 30 minutes and now appears to be disoriented. Officer spoke to man who said that he was waiting on a UPS delivery. YES
Citizen reported a person passed out in the lawn of a church under a sign (lets throw in "..again" and we have a YES)
Woman called to complain that her neighbors were outside in the garden hammering and wanted officer to drive by and talk to them. Officer arrived and there was nobody outside.
Citizen reported a male subject walking south down Main Street wearing a black t-shirt and white underwear only. Subject took off running down 6th Ave. East. Officer responded but was unable to locate subject. YES
Citizen called to report a car being driven erratically down Highway 137, crossing over the lane and back to the shoulder. Officer pulled car over and everything was 10-2. Driver was not paying attention to the road doing other stuff in the vehicle.
Anonymous female called in reference to a cow that was blocking the road and has traffic backed up. Owner came up and retrieved the cow.
Caller reported while crossing railroad tracks, crossing arms started coming down and smashed into the boat he was pulling. No train coming. DUMB No, this one can be good! Just imagine the physical action; Dave driving, Andy in the boat behind...
Caller requested officer to help retrieve item mistakenly dropped in library book return. Dave dumping a baby?
Caller reported dog at large chasing a person. Officer unable to locate. DUMB
Caller reported that his sister was involved with an accident overnight in which she didn¹t think there was enough damage to report but found there was. She also took down a weight limit sign. WEAK
Citizen called to report a fire behind a local business. An officer stated all was in order. It was a controlled burn. NOT FUNNY This one is bad, but I'd love to say 'controlled burn' into a mic.
Caller reported two males hitting each other at the reservoir. Officer responded. No one saw anything or knew anything. YES.
Woman advised her husband was breathing fast and shallow. (Please do this one and make it as amorous as possible) ...wtf Well, like Dave, I'm thinking WTF as well, but what Daddy Paxton wants, I suppose Daddy Pax can get. Although...I don't know how.
Officer responded to a suspicious person following a woman. It was found to be a subject applying for jobs at local businesses. ..doable
Officer responded to high school in reference to a fight in progress. All was in order. Kids were just playing. YES
Caller reported juveniles throwing water balloons and she had almost been hit. Officer took away the balloons. ...not sure if want
Suspicious fire/juvenile trouble involving clothing and a dryer. YES
Anonymous female subject reported that some girls were lying in the road sunbathing. Officer unable to locate. MAYBE frantic horny goathead driving swiftly around the stage?
Person called to report seeing a shadow go by her window. Officer was unable to locate.
Subject called reporting that up until today, he and his neighbor across the hall had been close friends, but they had a disagreement and the neighbor called him everything but a white man. The neighbor has some property like his car keys, P.O. box keys and he’d like to have them back, but if goes and knocks on the door, there will be a fight. Officer responded and assisted and all was fine. YES Eh...I don't know about this one
Deputy responded to a call from Locktronics that an alarm had sounded at a rural residence. Officer responded and found a person planting trees with permission.
An officer advised he was flagged down by a citizen who reported that there were goats in the roadway. Officers assisted in rounding them up and putting them back where they belong. YES
A person reported that there was a big sick bird in her yard and she would like someone to remove it. Animal control responded and advised it was a hawk that had frozen to death. He removed the bird. YES
An individual called and stated that someone had cut off her horse’s tail. YES Fucking awesome. Bigass axe swing or something.
A person called and reported she thought some girls were outside her home and she wanted an officer to come down and check it out. An officer arrived and reported that the noise she heard was a bunny rabbit caught in some sheeting.
An individual called in reference to his brother hitting a cow near the Avery pyramids. 30s style boxing?
An individual called to report that her couch, chair and bed were vibrating. A deputy responded. YES YES YES This as the closer?
A person called in and advised that there was a female that was screaming over by the library. Everything was okay, the female was talking very loudly. YES
A person reported that her son had hit a cow on his way to work on the road between Blakesburg and Moravia.
An anonymous female reported that a vehicle was sitting in front of a local school. An officer went to the school and reported that everything was okay, they were square dancing. YES YES This as the closer? Or second-to-last?
Citizen advised that a man was sitting at the intersection and had been there for 30 minutes and now appears to be disoriented. Officer spoke to man who said that he was waiting on a UPS delivery. YES
Citizen reported a person passed out in the lawn of a church under a sign (lets throw in "..again" and we have a YES)
Woman called to complain that her neighbors were outside in the garden hammering and wanted officer to drive by and talk to them. Officer arrived and there was nobody outside.
Citizen reported a male subject walking south down Main Street wearing a black t-shirt and white underwear only. Subject took off running down 6th Ave. East. Officer responded but was unable to locate subject. YES
Citizen called to report a car being driven erratically down Highway 137, crossing over the lane and back to the shoulder. Officer pulled car over and everything was 10-2. Driver was not paying attention to the road doing other stuff in the vehicle.
Anonymous female called in reference to a cow that was blocking the road and has traffic backed up. Owner came up and retrieved the cow.
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