A half-baked social map
This morning I was sitting around thinking about pirates and I realized that most of the people I know can be shoved into one of four social categories:
1: Royalty
2: Pirates
3: Ninjas
and
4: drunks
General Assumptions
1: All people are primarily out for their own advancement, even if they don't know it.
2: The fourth category can be combined with any of the first three categories, resulting in a combo category.
Royalty
Kings and Queens and Court Jesters
These are the people who advance themselves through some variation of political positioning. They carefully plan their moves, often setting plans far into the future. They are VERY concerned with how they are perceived by others. They usually have well-defined day-to-day plans and major objectives. Royal people will entertain many alliances and have no qualms with maintaining an alliance purely for political gain.
Pirates
Salty (sometimes even scurvy) Sea Dogs
Pirates take what they want. They will step on shoes, cut throats, and cannonball your mother to get it. They don't care how loud or stupid they may look while they're doing it, either, so long as they get the booty in the end. A pirate will have a few close pirate chums, but even those are expendable in the right circumstances.
Ninjas
Do you hear that?
Ninjas slip in while you're asleep, take everything, crap on your sleeping face, and leave before you can smell it. Ninjas don't want to be noticed. They want the rest of the world to go about its business while they play in the shadows. If you discover a ninja at play, he will probably cut your head off. Ninjas work alone or in small clans.
drunks
Anyone can be a drunk. Royal people have to attend a lot of parties to keep up appearances, so they tend to be social drinkers. Pirates party HARD. Ninjas prefer a sober mind, but like a shot of saki to unwind.
Drunks live day to day. The big picture doesn't make sense to them, so they tend to just try and make it through with the least amount of pain and difficulty possible. Drunks have lost their dreams, so they substitute them with an alcoholic haze. Drunks have many drinking buddies but don't remember all of their names.
Examples:
Tiger Woods is definitely royalty. Why would a guy like that get married? Image.
Johnny Depp is obviously a pirate, but not just because he played one on tv. Rumor has it that Johnny Depp and his girlfriend both SMELL like pirates. And I would guess that he parties like a pirate on his island in the Bahamas.
The guy who bet against Bear Stearns back in March of '08 was a ninja. He made off with about $270 million and no one knows who he was. He might have had some help from his ninja clan, Goldman Sachs.
Amy Winehouse is a drunk. At only 26 she's already smoked enough crack to cause emphysema. I'm betting she won't have another #1 hit single for a while.
1: Royalty
2: Pirates
3: Ninjas
and
4: drunks
General Assumptions
1: All people are primarily out for their own advancement, even if they don't know it.
2: The fourth category can be combined with any of the first three categories, resulting in a combo category.
Royalty
Kings and Queens and Court Jesters
These are the people who advance themselves through some variation of political positioning. They carefully plan their moves, often setting plans far into the future. They are VERY concerned with how they are perceived by others. They usually have well-defined day-to-day plans and major objectives. Royal people will entertain many alliances and have no qualms with maintaining an alliance purely for political gain.
Pirates
Salty (sometimes even scurvy) Sea Dogs
Pirates take what they want. They will step on shoes, cut throats, and cannonball your mother to get it. They don't care how loud or stupid they may look while they're doing it, either, so long as they get the booty in the end. A pirate will have a few close pirate chums, but even those are expendable in the right circumstances.
Ninjas
Do you hear that?
Ninjas slip in while you're asleep, take everything, crap on your sleeping face, and leave before you can smell it. Ninjas don't want to be noticed. They want the rest of the world to go about its business while they play in the shadows. If you discover a ninja at play, he will probably cut your head off. Ninjas work alone or in small clans.
drunks
Anyone can be a drunk. Royal people have to attend a lot of parties to keep up appearances, so they tend to be social drinkers. Pirates party HARD. Ninjas prefer a sober mind, but like a shot of saki to unwind.
Drunks live day to day. The big picture doesn't make sense to them, so they tend to just try and make it through with the least amount of pain and difficulty possible. Drunks have lost their dreams, so they substitute them with an alcoholic haze. Drunks have many drinking buddies but don't remember all of their names.
Examples:
Tiger Woods is definitely royalty. Why would a guy like that get married? Image.
Johnny Depp is obviously a pirate, but not just because he played one on tv. Rumor has it that Johnny Depp and his girlfriend both SMELL like pirates. And I would guess that he parties like a pirate on his island in the Bahamas.
The guy who bet against Bear Stearns back in March of '08 was a ninja. He made off with about $270 million and no one knows who he was. He might have had some help from his ninja clan, Goldman Sachs.
Amy Winehouse is a drunk. At only 26 she's already smoked enough crack to cause emphysema. I'm betting she won't have another #1 hit single for a while.
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