What Will I Do With All These Dead Hookers?

Who will get this reference? Probably nobody.

The Unlock Smith. Enjoy this, instead!

For the last two weeks I have been running after work. It is terrible to realize how out of shape you are and then try to rectify the situation, only to realize you are terribly out of shape. I have also sworn off soda, which has been working nicely. Today, however, I got bored and decided to get a Mountain Dew. About 1/2 way through, all I could taste was sugar and sugar. Threw it away and never looked back. To compensate, I have been drinking water like it's going out of style. The first couple days I was urinating more than a diabetic. I would say it's the toxins leaving my body, but what are these mystery toxins? I can't find a definitive answer to this. I'll just assume it was my body pissing out soda water weight in exchange for actual water.

It's only been two weeks, but I would like to see results. Unfortunately, with a fitness goal, you won't see results immediately. I thought about swearing off looking into mirrors for the next month, but that's just ridiculous and I would only wind up looking like a hobo.

South Park got censored the other week for having Muhammed issues. I'm pissed that Comedy Central was afraid of offending Muslims, not that South Park has ever intentionally tried to offend any religion, against the wishes and consent of Matt Stone & Trey Parker. This news comes as I am on a huge kick about freedom of speech/expression. But it's not worth blogging about.

Yet my fat ass pissing is worth blogging about. Don't judge me. Post something your damn self!