My own personal army of ninjas, fleet of hot pirate chicks, and giant robots.
I was walking thru my hallway this morning gettin ready to go to class....and it happened. A couple of Mormons cornered me and started asking me questions. I wanted to so badly stab their eyes out and let them meet their prophet Joseph Smith, as well as their Creator. But I couldnt get a word in....I felt violated. My evil tenacity was powerless to their evil tie wearing elder way. I think they are elders because they posess evil anti-dave powers. So I just nodded, laughed, and tried to get away....but I couldnt!!! They gave me a book of Mormon and I tried to give them a false name (Steve was on my mind) but I said Dave. And they asked what room I live in? I wanted to make up a room but my mind said 697...which doesnt exist...I couldnt help it!
Actually from their brainwashing they are looking for another prophet to walk on the earth and lead their church to the promised New Zion or whatever fucking bullshit they promote. And as I ran away, I thought "Hmmm....what if I were the prophet? I mean, Alexander the Great or whatever killed christians before embrasing them....so what if I were to be a 'Prophet' and lead the Mormons as my unholy minions?!" And I started to have visions of me in a parade, wielding a sword and making Holy Knights, having an army of AT-AT and AT-Sts destroying ice worlds, me giving motivational dictations with a giant textile of me backdropping it, having a marching robotic ninja pirate army ready to die for my honor, and of course a huge fucking harem of hot, gothy, barely legal females who will pleasure me with Mr. Pibb and ice cream. Oh yeah. Then I realized that none of this will happen no matter how hard they try to appease me with goth girls dancing to techno music. Nuh uh. If they cant offer me 70 virgin goths when I die then Im sorry but ill pass for your multi marriage cult...They truely must fuck cows in retrospect if they think they can buy me off with a free book. Dick milks..... A pile of naked men having sex with each other doesnt even come close to how gay this idea is.
As well, I was unable to sleep last nite and decided to read the old blog posts for shits and giggles. Fuck. Me and Bil say "fuck" a whole fucking lot. Each post has about four fucking "universal adjectives" strewn about them. Well shit. We'll fucking have to remedy that with more FUCKS wont we? Fucking fuck fucks.
Actually from their brainwashing they are looking for another prophet to walk on the earth and lead their church to the promised New Zion or whatever fucking bullshit they promote. And as I ran away, I thought "Hmmm....what if I were the prophet? I mean, Alexander the Great or whatever killed christians before embrasing them....so what if I were to be a 'Prophet' and lead the Mormons as my unholy minions?!" And I started to have visions of me in a parade, wielding a sword and making Holy Knights, having an army of AT-AT and AT-Sts destroying ice worlds, me giving motivational dictations with a giant textile of me backdropping it, having a marching robotic ninja pirate army ready to die for my honor, and of course a huge fucking harem of hot, gothy, barely legal females who will pleasure me with Mr. Pibb and ice cream. Oh yeah. Then I realized that none of this will happen no matter how hard they try to appease me with goth girls dancing to techno music. Nuh uh. If they cant offer me 70 virgin goths when I die then Im sorry but ill pass for your multi marriage cult...They truely must fuck cows in retrospect if they think they can buy me off with a free book. Dick milks..... A pile of naked men having sex with each other doesnt even come close to how gay this idea is.
As well, I was unable to sleep last nite and decided to read the old blog posts for shits and giggles. Fuck. Me and Bil say "fuck" a whole fucking lot. Each post has about four fucking "universal adjectives" strewn about them. Well shit. We'll fucking have to remedy that with more FUCKS wont we? Fucking fuck fucks.
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