The Man with the Phallic Surname

If you’ve read the message board you’ll already know that I am pathetically close to collecting all of the Burger King Star Wars toys. I’m thinking of stopping here though, because I already have all of the characters that I wanted to get and a few that I didn’t. And I’m not sure if I can choke down another wilted salad and greasy grilled chicken sandwich. I have learned a valuable lesson about Burger King’s breakfast food, though. If you absolutely have to eat your breakfast at some fast food joint...like if Ronald McDonald and the Burger King show up on your doorstep some morning holding revolvers and threatening to blow your brains out if you don’t choose one of their namesakes as the place where you eat your breakfast dinner...Burger King is far and away the better choice. The key factor in this is their biscuits and gravy. It is the shit.

I wouldn’t eat it very often, though, if I were you. I ate it one morning and wasn’t hungry for the rest of the day. It probably has enough calories to keep you going for a full week.

Well, it appears that Tim is bailing on the Fab Four trip...or is it Fab Five now? Either way it isn’t going to happen.

If Tim doesn’t mind, I’d really love to go to Boston with him, and maybe if anyone else wants to blow the time and money we could turn it into a small group trip—maybe three of us?

I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Way to put your career before our drunken escapades! Selfish bastard.”

Since today is Bayou day I suppose it would be appropriate to dine at (so far as I’m aware) the only Bayou themed restaurant in Des Moines: Buzzard Billy’s.

But, no, forget that, if I’m not going to eat Steak and Guinness pie I don’t even want to go down to Court Ave. It would just tease me the more.

I think Tim should henceforth be known as Tim: The DREAMKILLER. Or simply Tim “Dreamkiller” Dicks.

That’s right, man with the phallic surname, you think about what you’ve done to our dreams. You think about it and you cry big phallic tears!