Michelle Smith is Explodingly Pregnant

You damn kids. If that ball comes on my property again, I will come to your room in the night, I will truss you and put you in a suitcase, and I will bury! you alive in the swimming pool in my backyard.

Damn!

Here are some foods that have been considered aphrodesiacal throughout time (no, that is not a word. But I have begun calling my English degree my license to create new words and modify existing ones. English degree holders have this right, by law):

(Information courtesy of http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/aphrodis_foods.htm)

Avocado
The Aztecs called the avocado tree "Ahuacuatl" which translated means "testicle tree". The ancients thought the fruit hanging in pairs on the tree resembled the male's testicles. This is a delicious fruit with a sensuous texture. Serve in slices with a small amount of Balsamic vinegar and freshly ground pepper.

Well, I guess the history of the testicle tree was the only interesting thing on that site. Damn. There goes the scheme for this post.

I'm looking for a digital camera for less than a hundred bucks . . . anyone have suggestions? I'd like something with a rechargable battery, ideally. My current camera's all jacked up.

Michelle and Rominger came over last weekend. Rominger has grown the Greatest and Best Beard I have ever seen. I expected a russian bear to charge through the wall of my parents' house at any moment. The bear would tackle him but Rominger would grab it by the husk, headbutt it between the eyes, and then hug the life out of the damn devilcreature. And Michelle . . . Michelle is explodingly pregnant. Explodingly.

Last night someone with this name signed onto msn:

TIM AND I ARE HAVING A BABY!!!

And when my heartrate returned to something close to normalcy, I realized that it was just someone from college, named Michelle, who is married to a Tim.