It takes 27 pancakes to cover Massachusettes because your mom's side of the family likes peanut butter every other Thursday in April on Leap Years

So earlier this evening/last nite::when you read this, I went shopping with Lynn and wound up in Victoria's Perversion. Upon being in there, she picked out nighties to excite her new boyfriend. As she asks to be let into the changing room, she motions her coat and purse towards me. I then utter the magical phrase: "It's Emasculating Time!" I believe my brain decided to put the inside thoughts outside through the mouth. The worker, hot by the way, says "Oh its that time of year when men get to wear purses" and Lynn replies, "Oh this teddy is for my boyfriend. Hes just my very best friend." Best friend in Dave's World usually means a medaphorical Andy-Hit-Me-in-the-Testes-with-a-Fanoodle but this time, I just nodded. Then the worker, did i mention she was hot?? ok, says "You are a good person!" just like the shrimp from Shark Tales. JUST LIKE THE FUCKING SHRIMP. I dont know where I was going wih this story. Oh yeah, so I called it Victoria's Perversion because its not a secret if you can see through it. And lingerie is quasipointless. Its going to come off. Just like you. But then again it makes the woman more susseptable to suggestions and builds her confidence enough for her to put on the cowboy hat and let you wear the pirate hat and then you start speaking italian long enough to give her a good ol' DP. Fuckin' A, man. I have no sense of sentence or paragraph. Form.

Got my tickets. Will be back on November 23rd. If you get a call from a 720 number, its me. I'm looking right at you, Tim.