Rock and Roll McDonalds

Heh. Funny.

Ryan is a bad friend. Why? Because he is literally dead to me. Dead as in he's not contacted or made any sort of noise towards me via phone or internets. He really cant get ahold of me on the internet, cuz how can a person who can't read possibly put letters together to make words, let alone sentences.

So what did I tell that man to get me to be summoned to court? I wish I were a summon. That way, whenever you guys needed me you could spend like...145 MP and get me to show up and mooch dollar sandwiches or cast Omega Bling. The jerkoff in question made my mom cry in church in front of the congregation because she was "spreading rumors" about him. So I told him accusing a single mom in front of his own congregation isnt just wrong, its unbecoming of a christian (not to further mention: a PASTOR). I was mature and non threatening about the whole wording of the email to avoid such a summons to court.

Anywho, this is what I wrote him:

"Pastor" Fowler,

It has come to my attention that you decided to confront my mother on the grounds that you believed she was spreading rumors that defamed your name. Furthermore, I have heard from several sources from inside First Baptist Church about your conduct within and outside of services.

Very dissapointing, especially from a church leader.

First off, what kind of a man are you? Picking on a woman whos done NOTHING but take care of people for the last 30 years. Not only did she support 7 kids when a dead-beat father left (being us, her kids) but her now-widowed mother who is slowly losing touch with her sanity. Shes done all this working constant laborous jobs (sometimes 2-3) to support her family who she cares about. Shes also a VERY religous person and would never do what you did: THROW THE FIRST STONE OF ACCUSATION. What proof do you have that my mom was spreading rumors? Did you just assume that? When you assume, you make a giant ass out of yourself and everyone around you agrees. Everytime I ask people in that church how it is going, they have nothing good to say about how you run the place, or how you treat the congregation. I believe you just decided to create this illusion of my mother being a gossiping goose so youd feel better about yourself. Pick on a defenseless and mousey single-mother to feel better about yourself. HYPOCRITICAL comes to mind, huh? I know how your type works: you find weak beings to abuse because you hate your pathedic existence and the only real pleasure you get out of it goes away once reality kicks in post-haste powertrip. Besides, for the last 3 months she's actually DEFENDED YOU when I talked to her about what I had heard through the other sources. That is right. One thing my mother taught me is always fight for the underdog, despite how low they may be situated. When Hjalmer would start up on a rant about you, my mother was quick to point out that you had a purpose or a reasoning behind what you were doing,and that you were commisioned by SBC to take care of issues at the church. So you think that she hates you and wants to spread rumors so you'll be expelled from yet another church? Well, now she has ammunition to use against you. She turned her cheek for you enough times that shes now turned around and waiting for you to strike again. Knowing my mother, she won't do anything against you. Thats what she has BOYS for.

Consider this my mother leaving your "congregation." Lead all the sheep astray, and you wont have a flock anymore.

Dave Wells -_-

PS: Bite my ass & foricate your mother.


In hindsight...oops. I never threatened to come back to Iowa to harm him, I never threatened to cause him any sort of physical harm (unless ordering him to bite my glutenous maximus is a physical harm to his blasphemous teeth and fornicating his mother means wee-wii harm). I didnt even mean to intimidate him. I was telling him he was WRONG. And to..well, fuck his mother and bite my ass.

By the way, this isn't Pastor Harris. This douchebag's name is on the police report. I am still uneasy with Nick for leaving Oh My Goddess in Pastor Harris's mom's car and then me taking the heat for it. I will NEVER live that down.

Tim: I think that the bar owner must have heard about you and public restrooms. Remember: you did utterly (sic) annihilate a bathroom stall at a concert. Maybe he owned the concert venue you decided to go apeshit at and "assumed" you had a moment of madness and kicked the ever loving fuck out of the wall with yoru fist at a very low angle and since you have a callous on your knuckles from all the walls you beat the fuck out of, you HAD to have done it.

Texas is a giant cult. Trust me.