Dave, you bastard! Tell my mom I want WHISKEY for Christmas! Actually...no, that's a very bad idea...yoooou whore.

Yeah, Mickey did own that kid. Wow. When I was in Disney World way back in the day, Goofy flung my nephew (Christopher) over his shoulder and ran off into some wing of one of the restaurants. "Hayuck, sexual molestation!" Everything turned out okay...I think.

Mr. Hed: too bad. If you happen to fail...well, then, maybe we can create an international incident of some sort and pin it on the French...then our nukes will show them who speaks the superior language! Booya!

The Bilbo Baggins video is so fucking goofy that I can't get over it. If you want to know what Tolkien hears if he's in Hell, open the video in four or five windows ten seconds apart and crank the volume. Sweet madness! ... and click here for someone else's opinion of the song.