What should we do with this nice house in West Des Moines, Mr. Christopher? Burn it. BURN IT TO THE GROUND!!!

Here's some more Herodotus. This is your Classics education. Today's story is about Otanes, who came back to his home country only to have it ransacked by the dirty Persians. Actually, the natives had it coming. But anyway, after Otanes was one of the only survivors left in the land:

"Otanes contracted some disease of the genital organs and that, in conjunction with a dream he had, induced him to repopulate the place."

Anonymous source at my apartment right now satirizing Herodotus's style of history: "And she had four gigantic breasts, each more gigantic than the last."

I made some rocket fuel coffee. Double dose! Delicious and disgusting at the same time.

Heard a radio commercial about the health benefits of breastfeeding your child. It was seventy's music and an Isaac Hayes-voiced man. I swear I heard this: "Hey, I'm just talkin bout breast feedin!"

And when's the Land of the Dead theater date? We really should do the zombie marathon.