Signed, the Spaniard

I'm adopting a new name: "The Dutchman." This is to confound my enemies. You are to refer to me only as The Dutchman.

Never mind that I'm not Dutch.

And no plays on my new name—a la "The Doucheman"—will be allowed.

In unrelated news, Amish's new name is The Frenchman.

. . .

Tonight is Megan's birthday. Yay, Megan! Yay! Unless you don't know her, as most of you don't. To you people I say: that's okay. I won't be celebrating either, because I am going to be a good boy and stay home and drink juice and watch The Outer Limits, which came in from Netflix. The particular collection I ordered is called

Sex and Science Fiction

which is basically all I ever think about, so I should enjoy it.