Descending the rungs on the ladder of sanity (or insanity)
This may be the most unhappy I've ever been on a Friday that I can remember.
Disclaimer: This bulk of this post will be a diatribe of self-pity. Ye be warned
This is also one of the longest Friday's I've had in a while.
It's mostly my fault. Last night I rented a movie that I've wanted to watch for a really long time called "The Seventh Seal". It was an alright movie. A little strange and longer than I had expected, but good.
The problem was that it got me thinking about a lot of stuff. Stuff that I've been thinking about a lot lately anyway, but had managed to avoid any serious contemplation until last night.
So I couldn't sleep.
I wanted to get my mind on something else so I started reading this book that Heather's friend Kasey lent me called Jesus' Son. So, 80 pages and an hour or so later I had decided two things. 1) The book was really good, albiet a little strange. 2) I was not going to be getting much sleep.
That was around one. I stopped reading at one-thirty to attempt sleep. Didn't work. I just lay on my back staring at the ceiling for probably another half-hour.
At that point I had reached no new conclusions, however, the severity of the lack of sleep situation had been upped slightly.
I think I finally nodded off around three-thirty and I had to be up at seven.
Seven rolled around and I decided I didn't really NEED to be up at seven. Eight would be enough time.
So I'm really only kind of tired, but work seems to exaggerate how badly I feel in any way. If I have any aches or pains...they are ten times as bad while I'm at work. If I'm tired...it turns into a desperate need for sleep. If I'm hungry....fucking starved. Horny...yeah, you get the idea.....
I guess thats not even really all that bad. When I take a second to step back from my life and take a look it really isn't all that bad.
However, lack of really horrible problems in ones life does not make up for a lack of a meaningful purpose for ones life.
*sigh*Anyway....
I'll be coming home this weekend for at least a day. Timeslots to see me are filling up quickly so book an appointment now to ensure your place.
And Bil, if you thought that was funny....check this out.
Disclaimer: This bulk of this post will be a diatribe of self-pity. Ye be warned
This is also one of the longest Friday's I've had in a while.
It's mostly my fault. Last night I rented a movie that I've wanted to watch for a really long time called "The Seventh Seal". It was an alright movie. A little strange and longer than I had expected, but good.
The problem was that it got me thinking about a lot of stuff. Stuff that I've been thinking about a lot lately anyway, but had managed to avoid any serious contemplation until last night.
So I couldn't sleep.
I wanted to get my mind on something else so I started reading this book that Heather's friend Kasey lent me called Jesus' Son. So, 80 pages and an hour or so later I had decided two things. 1) The book was really good, albiet a little strange. 2) I was not going to be getting much sleep.
That was around one. I stopped reading at one-thirty to attempt sleep. Didn't work. I just lay on my back staring at the ceiling for probably another half-hour.
At that point I had reached no new conclusions, however, the severity of the lack of sleep situation had been upped slightly.
I think I finally nodded off around three-thirty and I had to be up at seven.
Seven rolled around and I decided I didn't really NEED to be up at seven. Eight would be enough time.
So I'm really only kind of tired, but work seems to exaggerate how badly I feel in any way. If I have any aches or pains...they are ten times as bad while I'm at work. If I'm tired...it turns into a desperate need for sleep. If I'm hungry....fucking starved. Horny...yeah, you get the idea.....
I guess thats not even really all that bad. When I take a second to step back from my life and take a look it really isn't all that bad.
However, lack of really horrible problems in ones life does not make up for a lack of a meaningful purpose for ones life.
*sigh*Anyway....
I'll be coming home this weekend for at least a day. Timeslots to see me are filling up quickly so book an appointment now to ensure your place.
And Bil, if you thought that was funny....check this out.
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