I am an English duchess

Does anyone else think that "tortfeasor" sounds dirty?

I need a date for Wells Fargo's Christmas party on December 11th. I am now accepting applications.

EDIT:

I just realized; I don't think I've ever linked to my Deviant Art site. Well, we shall remedy that, forthwith and posthaste.

If you wish to read my humble attempts at poetic grace, click hither.