Old Man Winter

This is Winter fucking us with a dickcicle.

Pan' Labyrinth

Go see it......take tissue.

PLEEZ MOEV BIRD!1

Another suggestion for blog card...

So, I have recently aquired the following: a 19" flatscreen monitor, a 5.1 megapixel camera, a 12" wacom tablet, an optical mouse, a so-so set of speakers, and a new phone.

Too bad I do not possess a bed nor a desk.

Poetry! of the non-fiction variety

How My Friend Min Broke Her Back

The hill had a sled-slickened skin
snow beckoning us
with its shiny white glow

Each rider kicked their way up
tugging sour candy
swirled sleds
plastic shells coated in Crisco
a grease paint to make them swifter

One by one we riders swooped
carving our way down the hill's face
like colorful tears
traveling through pre-packed trails
with a hushed rush
then a white splash
when we found uncharted snow

The hill's face was in need of a nose
so we chose sledfuls
wet snow as our clay
and sculpted a
sled slinging mound at
the base of her brow

Bolting down with
reckless abandon
we riders rocketed
through crisp cold winter breeze
like snowflakes caught in
whooshing wind

Min was the last to go
sliding fast as a little skiff
on a white wave
then made a sudden
jarring
turn toward the sky
abandoned her sled
as if she could escape into the air
but gravity's grip was too great

What Has Science Done?!?!

Daves video

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I have my doubts.

So the universe is back in order. That's right: that whole me dating and being happy with someone else thing is over. Blah.

Did you know Arkham Asylum in Batman is named after the city in Call of Cthulhu?

More tea, m'lady?

If you ever stumble across a song by the Arrogant Worms called "Pirates of the Saskatchewan," Download it.

It's awesomesauce on toast.

And, oddly, it reminds me of you lot.

Serious Question

If there was a cartoon that had pixelated sprite characters who were serial killers living in a sitcom world, would you watch it?

pictures

The answer to your question is because I felt like it.



For Dave who has yet to see a picture of my neice.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Once again, like a whore who has gotten her money, the blog lies here, as the whore's friends try to reach out to her, she has already taken that vile of crack straight to the core of he being and no response is given.

Villain without a hero

I am copy pasta'ing this because I thought this was a nice essay. By myself. I'm not being emo or anything. I was just being deep.

--Villain without a Hero--

I have to admit I am obsessed with the idea of supervillains. The idea of having a super human ability or tendencies and using them for my own wishes is very appealing to me. Villains are nothing more then heroes who have decided to stop helping others and use their talents for their own selfish needs. However, villains, especially arch and main ones, usually have a very justified reason behind their abilities. Think about it: if you can move 10 times the weight of the strongest man in the world, wouldn't you like to just do something for yourself? Villains in this aspect are the definition of nonconformists. They want to do what they want to do and not appeal to the law or those they are helping/inflicting.

I would like to just do something for myself for a change. I mean, why should I constantly try to help everyone and continue to be stomped upon or brushed aside like nothing? I am sick of rules, sick of norms, sick of about 99% of everything that "makes sense." Believe me, if I could crash the Moon into the earth so others would hear my voice, I would. Then maybe I could get my way, or at least some attention that I seem to lack.

Villains always have life shit on them, too. That's probably why they say "fuck y'all! It's my turn to shit on you!" or something to that effect. I don't want to say that I have been shat on. But situations in my life seem to be sorted into "bad" pile many more times then into the "good" pile. It's really a matter of time before the straw breaks a camel's back, and that is what instigates a villain to do what they desire to do: blow shit up.

But villains need something very important. Not a gimmick, not a cool name, or a cool costume. No: Villains need a Hero. They need a person that is their exact opposite. It's like Jesus and Satan. Extreme good vs extreme evil. Sometimes, a villain is after a whole host of people or after the world and heroes just happen to keep running into the same one. I look at my life and I have no real hero. I keep thinking that I have found the perfect opposite of me: someone nice, whitey, everything I look for. But unfortunately either I am a wonderful villain or the series tanks and that person goes into obscurity. I never get the ultimate showdown, the epic battle, the Lost Wars. Nothing. I get a mediocre by-the-book separation and that's the end of that story arch. Sometimes the hero comes back in different attire or in a different take on the story, but it never holds up for more then a few weeks. In that same matter, I am never a major threat after a few months. I am just another convenient evil-doer who is there to mess up a party or a parade or a trip downtown. An awkward battle later and I'm some sort lesson about flossing or changing batteries in a car. Maybe in 20 years I'll get my justice and be reinvented or be portrayed on a major motion film and then AND ONLY THEN will I get the proper recognition.

Ever wonder why I based a character named Luvlis off myself? See above. Think. ...Good job.

I really, really, REALLY don't want to wait for that to happen. I want to be able to go downtown in a giant robot suit, smash some stuff up, and expect my other half to show up and try successfully to thwart me. But apparently that doesn't happen, and off into obscurity I go. And what do I get for it: a weird card in Trivial Pursuit, a crappy boss battle in a half assed video game, and a piss poor wikipedia page.

Hence, I am a villain with no hero. Infinite possibilities with no outlet.

The Jesus of suburbia is a lie

Albia makes me want to jump out of a goddamned window.
Right now, I'm in this kooky kind of limbo, where I'm not going to school, I'm not working, and I can't do either one because I'm leaving to do both in about 2 weeks. Which is also a very unsettling thought.
A little over 2 weeks.
18 days.
1080 hours.
64800 minutes.
3888000 seconds.
It's very strange to think how drastically different my life is going to be in that frame of time. Yes, at first, it's going to suck and I know that. But afterwards, I will be able to have copious amounts of doors open to me, and massive amounts of opportunities to me as well.
So, why is everyone telling me how stupid I am? How poor of a choice I am making, do I realize what the hell I'm getting myself into? Why don't I just get a job in Des Moines working as a case manager or social worker or something?
Because I can't, that's why. If I did that, I'd be hanging from a tree somewhere. I discovered that through working with my kids at Upward Bound I cannot do either one of those things. I get too attatched to my kids and I'm just not cut out to do that day after day. I can't do that and maintain a level operable sanity.
I'm just tired of people cutting me down, telling me how I'm screwing up, and how stupid I am, what poor choices I'm making.
I just don't know anymore, maybe this was a bad decision. I don't think it is, but I've been wrong before. I've got enough to deal with, and I don't need all this extra bs dumped on me. I have to pack all of my things in my dad's house, because he's moving 700 miles away. I'm just terrified beyond reason to leave for Chicago for basic, and no one is really making it any better. I'm depressed as hell, and I'm very frustrated, and all I hear is how stupid I am.
What the fuck.

Anyway...

Back in Denver. Hoot and nanny.

And I am back at work. Even more hoot and nanny.

Denver will continue to be pummelled by snow for the next week, as many of federal prison fish do the first week they are in the lockup. Except nature is not equipped with shivs and peni.

It's soo true.

So I couldn't slep because i kept thinking about the universal remonster. After watching the episode I realized that a quote at the end summed up how I felt when I bought my TV.

Fry-Yip, I thought it was about time we invested in a high-definition plasma screen.

Meatwad-I thought you said TV was bad.

Fry-It is, but we fuckin' need it

Secondly I want some new music but I'm sorta drawing a blank on what to buy. Any suggestions?

Annual Joke

Since I'm not with the rest of you now I have to tell my annual new year joke from afar. I haven't taken a piss all year.