Best viewed with insomnia
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
The Tick Season One!!!
Add the Tick trailer to your site at www.TheTickDVD.com
If you haven't bought this by now, then you sir are a bastard.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Life as I know it.
This last year has been the most bizarre year of my life. I moved in with Shannon and left Albia, gained thirty pounds, quit smoking, purchased a vehicle straight cash, bought a giant television, and I'm going back to school. What the hell happened. Did the maturity bug come and bite me on the ass? So today is my five year anniversary with Shannon. I don't really have a point, just seemed like the best forum to talk about how much I've changed in the last year.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Molly read the blog? That shit is whack. That is what all the young "dudes" are saying these days.
I wonder who else secretly reads the blog... Now I'm all paranoid.
I wonder who else secretly reads the blog... Now I'm all paranoid.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
It hurts me more than it hurts you.
I'm sorry it came to this. I told you to go see the movie and you didn't listen. I don't mean to hit it's just sometimes you make me so mad. Why aren't you answering me. No....GOD NO!!!!!!! BREATHE, DAMNIT BREATHE!!!!!!
They desire our warm flesh.
I thought you should all know that in my first-ever graduate-level course, we were all told that the only acceptable excuse for missing class was attack by zombie, preferably a horde.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Why Government Jobs Don't Require Common Sense
Dave: I need to check to see if my address is correct.
Post Master: So what is your address?
Dave: (gives out)
PM: So what is your new address?
Dave: that is my address. That's the one i have now. I need to make sure it's correct. My mail is being Returned To Sender.
PM: Well how long have you had this new address?
Dave: No. It's my current address.
PM: Lets take a look.... (types) Looks like you dont live at that address. Are you sure you have it right?
Dave: ...I've lived here for almost 3 years now.
PM: We only forward mail for 3 months-
Dave: No. That IS my address. It's getting sent back.
PM: Oh. So what is your new address?
~~right here is where I imagine grabbing the PM by her fat fuckin' head and slamming it into the pavement repeatedly until the bleeding stops~~
This pisses me off to no end because my PAYCHECK got RtS. For no fucking reason at all except the post office had a fuckup.
Post Master: So what is your address?
Dave: (gives out)
PM: So what is your new address?
Dave: that is my address. That's the one i have now. I need to make sure it's correct. My mail is being Returned To Sender.
PM: Well how long have you had this new address?
Dave: No. It's my current address.
PM: Lets take a look.... (types) Looks like you dont live at that address. Are you sure you have it right?
Dave: ...I've lived here for almost 3 years now.
PM: We only forward mail for 3 months-
Dave: No. That IS my address. It's getting sent back.
PM: Oh. So what is your new address?
~~right here is where I imagine grabbing the PM by her fat fuckin' head and slamming it into the pavement repeatedly until the bleeding stops~~
This pisses me off to no end because my PAYCHECK got RtS. For no fucking reason at all except the post office had a fuckup.
Monday, August 21, 2006
better than buttered toast
http://penfield.psych.uiuc.edu/omnibrain/2006/08/secret-of-anti-gravity.html
They Made a Movie
Go check out the teaser and prepair your self.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/tenaciousdinthepickofdestiny/index.html
http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/tenaciousdinthepickofdestiny/index.html
Sunday, August 20, 2006
That's just a little bit more then the law will allow
We had our lil' Halo 2 festival last night. We devised a game of utmost awesome. With 16 people, have nothing but shotguns & glowing spiders and teams (Red vs. Blue) and preferrably on the Ship or the...damn it...snow level with the ramps and the bottomless crevace (names evades me at the moment). Then just let the madness ensue. We called it Shotgun Wedding. And somehow...somehow... Donkey Show aquired 28 kills. In one round.
I found out there's a real disorder called Betty-Veronica Syndrome. Basically, a person will maintain a relationship with two partners that is bound to end in destruction, but somehow the two partners have issues too, primarily that they're in love with one (or both) and are friends with one (or both). Hmm. Sounds like my life. Except that I get fanoodles bat-swung into my crotch.
I had this odd dream theme I must share, as well. Mainly it's the fact John, Tim, Andy, and Wes are in some sort of college or work program and I come in and it's like a completely different world. There was one dream where y'all were in Deep Sea Rescue School 30 miles off the coast of Seal Island, Washington (also known as storm capitol of the world, according to the dream). There was the one where you were all vampire hunters in a mall with me, cept you were part of the Mall Security. Then last nite, you were all working for the "New" Albia High School under the cover of janitors when in reality you were all excavating alien ruins in the B Gym.
I got's the devil in me. That devil being rum.
I found out there's a real disorder called Betty-Veronica Syndrome. Basically, a person will maintain a relationship with two partners that is bound to end in destruction, but somehow the two partners have issues too, primarily that they're in love with one (or both) and are friends with one (or both). Hmm. Sounds like my life. Except that I get fanoodles bat-swung into my crotch.
I had this odd dream theme I must share, as well. Mainly it's the fact John, Tim, Andy, and Wes are in some sort of college or work program and I come in and it's like a completely different world. There was one dream where y'all were in Deep Sea Rescue School 30 miles off the coast of Seal Island, Washington (also known as storm capitol of the world, according to the dream). There was the one where you were all vampire hunters in a mall with me, cept you were part of the Mall Security. Then last nite, you were all working for the "New" Albia High School under the cover of janitors when in reality you were all excavating alien ruins in the B Gym.
I got's the devil in me. That devil being rum.
Pity Party
Damn. Still no other post or comments or anything on the message board. Guess I'm taking this fat bitch for another ride. I'm going to have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot. Like a moped, she's fun to ride till you guys catch me.
House of the Dead was on Sci-Fi the other night. I've only watched it once before and thought it sucked cock and balls. Now I hate it with a fucking passion. It set back the whole zombie movie genre back 20 years. I want to hunt down anyone who even worked on this piece of crap and cut off their balls. Painful slow death awaits the director and the cinematoghopher. I thought bullet time was way overused by the time Matrix whored it to death, but now I have new contempt for it. It's a fucking gimick. If you can't use it right don't use it at all. Then there's the acting. This was a blockbuster movie, but the acting wasn't even on par for a B move. Hell, it wasn't even good enough for pornno. Which brings me to my final point.
Zombie Pornno
Think about it. No one has made one yet. Who's with me. I'll get my hands on a camera and some make up, we'll head out to the woods. Don't worry. If you think mommy and Daddy will find out, you have one all that make-up so they won't know it's you. I'm excited about this project. I'm thinking world wide distribution.
House of the Dead was on Sci-Fi the other night. I've only watched it once before and thought it sucked cock and balls. Now I hate it with a fucking passion. It set back the whole zombie movie genre back 20 years. I want to hunt down anyone who even worked on this piece of crap and cut off their balls. Painful slow death awaits the director and the cinematoghopher. I thought bullet time was way overused by the time Matrix whored it to death, but now I have new contempt for it. It's a fucking gimick. If you can't use it right don't use it at all. Then there's the acting. This was a blockbuster movie, but the acting wasn't even on par for a B move. Hell, it wasn't even good enough for pornno. Which brings me to my final point.
Zombie Pornno
Think about it. No one has made one yet. Who's with me. I'll get my hands on a camera and some make up, we'll head out to the woods. Don't worry. If you think mommy and Daddy will find out, you have one all that make-up so they won't know it's you. I'm excited about this project. I'm thinking world wide distribution.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Pity Post
No post for four days. I guess I'll have to be the one to throw this fat chick a bone. Just remember I took one for the team. While every one else takes home the cute one, I'm taking the fat friend off your hands. Just think of me when your hittin that ass. Like Andy always says "Put a flag over her head and fuck her for glory."
It's a small world over here at the work place. People I worked with at my old job keep showing up here at the new one. And if I went to another group home I bet I would run into people I've worked with before. How would you like that. You can't act like an asshole because you never know who will be at the next job. Always having to be fake nice all the time just in case. It sucks the soul right out of yah. Try it some time. It's not easy. Look at my smile *smile*. Isn't it perty. I think I could sell cars after this. Yah. That's what I should do. Sell cars. Or dildos. Haven't decided yet.
It's a small world over here at the work place. People I worked with at my old job keep showing up here at the new one. And if I went to another group home I bet I would run into people I've worked with before. How would you like that. You can't act like an asshole because you never know who will be at the next job. Always having to be fake nice all the time just in case. It sucks the soul right out of yah. Try it some time. It's not easy. Look at my smile *smile*. Isn't it perty. I think I could sell cars after this. Yah. That's what I should do. Sell cars. Or dildos. Haven't decided yet.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Movie trailers worth a viewing
A few trailers at the sony pictures' web site worth checking out.
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/ghostrider/index.html
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/casinoroyale/site/
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/runningwithscissors/index.html
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/spider-man_3/
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/strangerthanfiction/index.html
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/ghostrider/index.html
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/casinoroyale/site/
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/runningwithscissors/index.html
http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/spider-man_3/
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/strangerthanfiction/index.html
Fuck that.
I'm sitting on the bank of the Mississippi in a town of maybe 1500 people and somehow there is an open wireless connection! Amazing.
For anyone who cares, I will return to Ames tomorrow for a while. As in, a few days.
I'm trying to decide about this grad student orientation thing Friday. The grad student picnic is totally out, after analysis of the promo flyer revealed a cartoon hot dog holding a rainbow of balloons. That and, the promise of hamburgers to be provided by the ISU meat labs.
I haven't been on the blog much lately, what with not having an internet connection, being squeamish about the Follies, etc., etc. But Dave, thanks for being the one to be in touch with Paxton.
After all my determination to sit this year out, and being unsure of whether or not I'll be in town (still unsure), I find myself unexpectedly a little sad not to be in. Mostly there's this lazy relief, but beneath it all, like a squad of miniature crocodiles tunneling beneath the fluffy glaze atop a cake, is the littlest bit of regret.
The littlest bit.
Nick, last night I dreamt that we went to an amalgam of Hess Drug, a bar, and Subway. Unfortunately, the whole dream was spent fighting the clerk over a fuck up in our bill...we'd only ordered the 6-inch vodka and cranberry plus phosphate, but were charged for two 12-inchers and a bag of baked Lays.
Fuck that.
For anyone who cares, I will return to Ames tomorrow for a while. As in, a few days.
I'm trying to decide about this grad student orientation thing Friday. The grad student picnic is totally out, after analysis of the promo flyer revealed a cartoon hot dog holding a rainbow of balloons. That and, the promise of hamburgers to be provided by the ISU meat labs.
I haven't been on the blog much lately, what with not having an internet connection, being squeamish about the Follies, etc., etc. But Dave, thanks for being the one to be in touch with Paxton.
After all my determination to sit this year out, and being unsure of whether or not I'll be in town (still unsure), I find myself unexpectedly a little sad not to be in. Mostly there's this lazy relief, but beneath it all, like a squad of miniature crocodiles tunneling beneath the fluffy glaze atop a cake, is the littlest bit of regret.
The littlest bit.
Nick, last night I dreamt that we went to an amalgam of Hess Drug, a bar, and Subway. Unfortunately, the whole dream was spent fighting the clerk over a fuck up in our bill...we'd only ordered the 6-inch vodka and cranberry plus phosphate, but were charged for two 12-inchers and a bag of baked Lays.
Fuck that.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
No Shit, Sherlock!
Read the article. Yes, there's an article on the picture. It's on the right side. No, keep going right. Past the second one. There you go. The words, see them? Wait. Are you even reading this? WTF.
Also: FUNNY. I have nothing better to do then dig through YTMND and find useless shit.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
MTV plays videos? WTF
I just saw an Evanescence video and I remembered the chick being better looking. Do any of you remember when they taught us to type in middle school? I was so awesome at typing back then. Yep, it's four in the morning and this is waht happens when I stay awake this late.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Good Night, Sleep tight, and check this out.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060807/ap_on_re_us/bedbugs_are_back_4
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060807/ap_on_re_us/bedbugs_are_back_4
Tried to fuck a pirate...but found the dog
So this girl last nite starts comparing me to her ex-boyfriend. She says that I remind her a lot of him when they started dating. Says that I could learn a lot from him if I were ever to talk to him via email or however. Then she tells me that I need to learn to say no to people and that I need to stop being "everyone's bitch."
This is, of course, after about 30 other signs suggesting this-and-that and everyone telling me to see the writing on the wall and the 40-mile high letters protruding from the planet. Oh, and the scrolling neon technicolor marquee of signs.
WHAT THE FUCK. That's not a question. That, I think, is a statement. Suggestions?
This is, of course, after about 30 other signs suggesting this-and-that and everyone telling me to see the writing on the wall and the 40-mile high letters protruding from the planet. Oh, and the scrolling neon technicolor marquee of signs.
WHAT THE FUCK. That's not a question. That, I think, is a statement. Suggestions?
Monday, August 07, 2006
My girlfriend is better than yours
My girlfriend bought me an ipod tonight.....what did your buy you? Nothing? That's what I thought. Which leads me to why I really came here. Kenny, I can only find episodes 4-8 of your podcast, where are the other three?
Friday, August 04, 2006
Guilt Trip much?
Dave Paxton to Dave Wells
Dave:
Indeed, it must have been a cosmic muffin, as I sent these a couple of weeks ago. I am totally bummed you guys won't be in the show. I say this not to blow wind up your skirt, but you guys and the Police Blotter are the best Follies act EVER! Next year for sure.
Dave
Dave:
Indeed, it must have been a cosmic muffin, as I sent these a couple of weeks ago. I am totally bummed you guys won't be in the show. I say this not to blow wind up your skirt, but you guys and the Police Blotter are the best Follies act EVER! Next year for sure.
Dave
I've got a Lovely Bunch of Cocoa Nuts ~or~ Pee-In-A-Cup Test for Dummies
So...
I applied for a job at Blizzard Entertainment.
I applied for a job at Blizzard Entertainment.
Blogging.
Blog....blog blog......blog blog blog blog blog. BLOG!!!!! #$@$$% BLOG BLOG BLOG........blog.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
The Police Reports Dave Paxton Sent Me So We Can Do the Follies
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Thats right kids: Paxton dropped the ball. Eff the Follies this year.
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Thats right kids: Paxton dropped the ball. Eff the Follies this year.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
