Girl Scouts + Head Ventilation = Joy

Right. Its the end of the week which is nice, and I intend to go do the better part of nothing for a while. And it will be glorious...

Oh good lord. I introduced 1000 kards here...and its spreadin like wild fire. This one purists girl made us put dares on some cards so shed play..so now theres people waggin their asses around and singing brittany spears. plus ive heard a billion different ways to say "Im Phallical!" It started out with three of us playing...now we have about 8 or 9 others who play along. I should be doing work...but im not. Fuggit! No sleep! but i have to finish up one last game...the anime reference cards are goin haywire and all over the place they are spewn.

Oh and beware the Ides of March ;)

Who's the first to post the whale guts? ME, BABY, ME!

WHAAAAAALE GUTS!

WTF? You are kidding right?
Shooting food products+high speed cameras=amusing

Carol and I stumbled upon the consummate Amish movie while cruising through channels: The Bachelor Party. In the ten minutes we say, there were strippers, prostitutes, uncloth-ed people, Jack Daniels, bad 80s humor and hair, and a donkey show gone bad.

Very Amish.

BREAKING NEWS: I found out the donkey isn't a donkey at all, but a "magical sexual mule."

Patrick Stewart as Spider Jerusalem? Evidently for some online thing or something that fell through. Kind of amusing though. He was Captain John Luc Picard on Star Trek the Next Generation if you didn't know...

I should have known Moogda (MGD) was at fault.

I hate going to bed because I feel like I'm giving up on another day without much accomplishment. Blargh.

All right, the golden ticket story. Reader's Digest style:
After consuming some MGD, Kevin peeled the label off the bottle, and just proclaimed that he had a golden ticket, of which Andy promptly chimed in with "I got a golden ticket!" and thus, it went back and forth between those two, until Garrett beat it into the ground like a dead horse....That's pretty much what happened, so, if my re-telling of these events is skewed or such, someone who was there, please correct me! MGD is now like the new chocolate factory, except everybottle has a golden ticket, of which to take you to a magical place!

Well.

Although I said I'd be back this weekend, the NAR office (click there for goofy index page) wants me to stay and read submissions for the Kurt Vonnegut fiction prize. They're trying to get out two issues at once. And I'm ass team leader (yes, ASS)..so I'm probably going to stay and assist. But I don't damn know.


Dave: Sounds good. Coincidentally, two goths happened to stop by my place to day, and their names HAPPENED TO BE Dana and Theresa. And they were looking for someone to photoshop their naked, out-making pictures onto his bed. Oh. Yeeeeah.

by the way... I still am ignorant of tickets, golden or otherwise. Help!

I hate this godforsaken Computer Applications. The teacher is yakkin about how computers read 0s and 1s and how a cd works and useless bla bla bla diva bullshit i dont need to review. Hes explaining about how bits are different from bytes and UGH! This is the worst 4 hours of the week and i came late to class so i know i missed nodda. I think im goin to nod off cuz this is the most damn retarded class ever. WORD! NO! I DONT NEED TO KNOW HOW THE FUCK WORD WORKS! I ALREADY KNOW! In case you cant tell...Im in class right now. This is as fun as hearing Lucas talk about his day. Eating glass is funner than this.

It was the ultimate prank!

Woopedoo! Its snowing. We got 2 inches in an hour and it keeps building up. Had a snowball fight a lil bit ago and decided to come back...to smooching mormons. The hampster owner as well told me he has more cardboard tubes than he knows what to do. He's a nerd. He had no clue that elves and dwarves dont get along! The idea!

Oh and someone email me and explain this golden ticket hullabaloo!!!!

EDIT: Kelly explained the ticket thing....interesting

Something about blew my goddamned mind about 2 hours ago. I got back from pool jockeying and i was finishing up a presentation intro and theres a knock at my door. Two goths. FULL FUCKING GOTHS. I was listening to the MSI LP and wearin the tour shirt and they FLIPPED OUT cuz they went to the tour when it came to denver. They were gettin something from the roomie i share a room with and they saw the poster and WIGGED THE FUCK OUT. Then we talked about MSI a bit and i showed em the web pics and got points and what not..then the one they were lookin for showed up and they left but it was a five minutes of brainfucking i will not have again in a while....lest they visit again to see the roomie Elliot (the non mormon.) THought id tell you all cuz it was just a mind bending "THis cant happen! Not to Dave!" Of if it happened to you all and you tried to tell me youd say that their names were Theresa and Dana or some stupid ass shit (READ shit that is ass induced).....Colon Critters....

Well, the weekend of Wes's birthday I'm sorta committed to a romantic comedy fest with Carol for Valentine's Day. We're going to watch "When Harry Met Sally," "You've Got Mail," and ... what was that other one? Oh, The Wedding Singer.

Ha. Ha ha. Ha.

No.

I will definitely be in Albia or Grinnell or Chariton that weekend, wherever the hodown is. How could we not celebrate Wes's and Bil's birthdays? We'll all forget about our existences as bags of flesh and organs (see Bil's last post) for one night of riotous craziness. Sounds like good stuff.

Speaking of which, I'll be in Albia this weekend. I've heard a couple ideas for this weekend, including Amish's demand for something "very alcoholic." I'm up for most things that don't invovle blood sacrifice and Ayn Rand.

I may have to smother Britt to death this weekend too. He keeps telling me that Carol looks like a caveman. Of course, years of making out with a drugged and/or sleeping Lucas have probably embittered him toward romance. Still, he may have to die a long, slow death.

I ordered a boxed set of Cowboy Bebop the other day, and although the shipping time was estimated from four to fourteen days, my parents called last night to tell me a package arrived. There's no distinctive return address, and so I'm afriad to have them open it. I mean, due to the process of elimination, it's likely Bebop, but...it could also be porn or something equally inflamatory. Who's to say? It seems so unlikely that a DVD I ordered online arrived in three days.

This is the best donut ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't been in the best mood either.

Sometimes I feel just.......

like this

I'm very tired today. First of all, I got woke up by my neighbor pounding on the door at 9am. He smelled smoke. I smelled it too, and was starting to get worried. Then he told me he thought it was the washing machine downstairs, so he turned it off. And the smell went away.

He just wanted to let me know.

WELL HOORAY. THANK YOU FOR WAKING ME UP AND TELLING ME ALL ABOUT YOUR WILD BASEMENT ADVENTURES YOU FUCKTARD.

Of course you can't get a decent sleep after shit like that. Nevermind worrying about some dumbshit burning the apartment complex, it's just not cool to get woken up after 4hrs of sleep and then getting to sleep for 4 more. So I got some more of The Best Democracy Money Can Buy read. So now I'm angry about politics, really tired, maybe almost got burned to death.... What else?

Oh yeah, my mouth fucking hurts. Damn! I have a wisdom tooth that randomly poked up through my gums (called impacted, iirc) a year or so ago, but it never caused me any problems until now. Yesterday, it randomly started hurting the inside of my cheek. I can't move my jaw without it feeling like all the teeth on my right side are covered in barbed wire now. Fucking excellent!

So anyways... February.

Wes turns 21 on the 13th, I turn 25 on the 19th. We should be doing something the weekend in between. That'd be the 14th (Saturday). Yeah, I know, that's Valentines Day.

Fuck Valentines Day.

I'm hitting a quarter century. That calls for some major boozing!

Wesley needs some boozing because he'll be legal and because he kicks ass.

Also: new Elftor! Well that helps. The other thing that's going to help: Sleep. Anyone that wakes me up tomorrow before 2pm gets stabbed in the face. Or maybe the groin.

OK Im not going to lie. This is all fucking true and has happened in the last 10 minutes...Im not one to cast stereotypes about Mormons but...just hear these facts out:

1) Jo just smuggled a hampster in here (hes a mormon)
2) There are a lot of cardboard poster tubes around here
3) There are plenty of matches here
4) FUCKING MORMONS

Please dont let this happen...im runnin away now.

If the box said it had a "real brain" you would have yourself a Real Doll, tim. You sick fuck. Brain fucker, in fact. Horse Brain Fucker is what theyd call you. if you were truthful, theyd call you Tim Horse Brain Fucking Amish Goofy Gold Fish Drinkin Hampster Shootin Mormon SUV Sonovabitching Dickmilk Drinking Cow Mooing Money Laundering Puppy Kicking Chainsaw Juggling Lillybitin Yeller-bellied Carnfoogling Pacifistic Republican Aunry Horney Asian Minor Watching Moochin Vagranting Two Faced Pig Stealing Baby Eating Wife Raping Egyptian Sodomizing Donkey Felatin-For-Show Dicks.



...bitch. :)

So does that 'creepy' link Wes posted lead to the Gollum real doll?

Ah also, I'm happy to say I have a game programming internship this summer. The kind folks at GarageGames have given me work. Doesn't pay, but it should be a good experience. Anyway, I have homework to do...

P.S. My spring break is the last 2 weeks of March. And my birthday is February 13, the 21st birthday. We should do something...

Tim should figure out how to do links, in the mean time I'll fix that last one for him...

and also I must say...

creepy

Tim apparently hasnt learned how to make links yet....poor fool.

I found 20 dollas yesterday! i felt rich! We got an inch of snow yesterday and its gone now. Apparently this is normal for Denver. Anyways, 3rd week of March is my spring break. I might try to be back for it. Ill have to see whats up.

For Wellsy

Andy: Just read your post. I've run out of goats, but I'm thinking of sacrificing a bottle of rum to you....assuming that my stomach counts as some sort of deity.

Seriously, though...I hope you get that damn job. The idea that a graduated English major could find work outside the grease and ketchup field would be so nice. So let us know how it goes.

By the way...how'd you hear about the job?

I'm sort of thinking lately that I wouldn't mind piloting a giant robot. The power, .... the power.... the ability to crush all enemies...the power...

I'm getting more drawn into Cartoon Network anime. Bebop is of course good stuff, and Trigun was as well. But Big O? Giant robots and goofy, clunky dialogue...not to mention an art style that is too reminiscent of the Batman cartoon. And, finishing it all off, the melodic lovesongish tune that plays during the closing credits. But my roommate (Senor Buttsex) watches it all the time and so I'm exposed. Eh.

I could also be a cheerleader. A MALE cheerleader. And you all could join me.

Here's why Jell-O, though disgusting, is fantastic. We made Jell-O shots last weekend, and they were pretty weak due to our panzy ratios of vodka to water. Anyway, we got through half before our stomachs threatened revolt of the most colorful manner, and the pans of alcoholic jello sat in my fridge for a few days. Tonight the stench of cheap vodka and artificial fruit flavors became too much, and i dumped what i could down the garbage disposal, feeling like i was feeding the damn thing. When I could scrape no more off the pans, I filled them with hot water, and an hour later: jello dissolved! No scrubbing, just steaming water to weaken that jello's spirit, and just like disillusioned college students at a political rally, the jello gave up, let go, and was dissolved by the greater mass.

I'm really enjoying the site Bil linked to last time. Damn fine stuff. As is the "Why People Belive..." book I mentioned. It has consumed me.

I'm writing so much because I have class and work tomorrow, and so I'm postponing sleep for as long as possilbe. Once I go to bed, the only thing I have to look forward to besides sweet love dreams of [insert name here]'s grandma is crawling toward the shower at nine am.

Blargh.

For the first time in a while I'm going to be in bed before midnight.....but only barely. Tomorrow I have a big interview in Williamsburg at Kinze Manufacturing for a Technical Writing position. I don't have to be there till 1:30, but I'm planning to leave at ten just in case. Since I'm not known for my punctuality.

The interview is supposed to last three hours and will include a tour of the factory(blah), and a test of my computer skills (fucking double-blah). One of the programs I'm supposed to be able to use is photoshop, so I got a copy of it from Heather. I spent all afternoon practicing by photoshoping the panties off a picture of Britney Spears. It doesn't look half bad :)
I'll post it when I'm finished.

He told me that only 12 people applied for the job and they would probably interview five, so I feel I have at least some chance of getting this job. So wish me luck....pray for me....sacrifice a goat...cross your fingers, whatever. Just remember that the sooner I get a good job, the sooner I can buy us a rocket launcher. Yeah, thats what I thought ;)

A crazy-ass animated gif in the same theme as the one Wes posted for me earlier.

I saw another good one a few days ago, a guy taking down 50 schoolgirls with a katana, but I don't remember where I saw it.

Must be some new internet fad now. See it in sigs on message boards all the time...

--edit: w00t, found it!

That was an interesting Matrix review.

Wes, guess what the anime club is showing on campus tonight? Seventh Samurai. That's right. I don't think I'm going, though, because my roommates are making spaghetti and i'm DAMN hungry. And not for love this time, either.

Karl? Its the fact that a stange woman displayed her breast to you that you were attracted. And i suppose that you are a pervert for bein turned on by it.

The whole damn town has shut down for MLK Day. Nothing is open cept for 7-Eleven. And scattered restaurants...and th Wal Mart. I am bored here. I spent the last 3 nites stayin up till 4am playing Bullshit and Slappers (card games) and hangin out with real people. However, when a group of cool people is present, theres always an annoying Lucas character around too. This girl named Kristine. UGH! Never have I met such a person that I want to stab repeatedly. She is an 18 year old with a 10 yr old mind. She talk and talks and talks. Worse than Lacy cuz she talks about the same things. Shes also obsessed with any guy she can talk to more than once (Myself included). So in retrospect (Dickmilk!!) shes Lacy gabbing, Lucas acting, and Audrey Beakler all in one burrito of annoyance. Tell me you dont want to eradicate that.

Im gonna go and lift weights.....what?!

Grumble. The morning is early. I'm not reading anything precisely like you folks, but it has some similarities. Its Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson. Historical Fiction, back when they thought about shit from non-scientific view points. ie spontaneous generation of maggots in rotting shit. Yeah anyway, its definitely rather morningish. Despite my near total absence from the blog I yet live. I was just being very lazy, and as such had little to say. Lots of sleeping, reading, and ps2. Now I think I'm gonna try to work on a game idea, hopefully my brain will be along for the ride. Damnable AM time...

The best Matrix Revolutions review I've ever read

Oh, and yes, that IS the best page in the universe.

Wee doggies, I picked up some great books today: Why People Believe Weird Things, a skeptical analysis of why people believe crazy superstitions and pseudoscience. Better yet: The Zombie Survival Guide, complete with illustrations and techniques guaranteed to save the reader from the undead hordes!

By the way, watching the new Aqua Teen right now. RIGHT NOW! Envy me, Bil and Grrt and Dave. Yessss.

Never mind...rerun.

I'm going to go into Albia now. Gonna go to Pizza Hut and have me some pizza. Then I'm going to go to Kenny's place and beat his ass in King of Fighters 2001 for a while.

Iori owns you!

Friday, Jan 16th 2004 is WTF Day for the blog, I see.

A free trip to Tibet? Oh YOU BET!

They sent two Victoria Secret catalogs today?!?! Merry Jerkoff Christmas Charlie Brown!!!

I swear that movies are bein fistfucked into my brain. Ive seen more movies in the last 2 days than i did the 6 months in the attic.

She's cute and elderly? Hot diggity damn!

Disclaimer:Do not assume my posts were written while I was sober. It is quite possible I was not. In fact, it is likely I was not sober during the conception of my previous post. Sorry for the drunken inconvenience.

My last post was (yes, written while I was drunk) my angry reaction to something I read on a website. Any ill will was directed specifically toward those who agree with the statements about Catholics, made by those who created that website. It was not directed at protestants in general.

I think that, for at least the next few weeks, I will try to refrain from making poorly thought out comments. Especially when concerning religion and spirituality. For the duration of that lapse in my premature thought-ejaculation, I would like to direct those interested in subjects related to religion to someone who actually knows what they're talking about. I highly recommend C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, Mere Christianity and The Abolition of Man are incredible. I haven't read many others but what I have is pretty good too.

I will resume 'writing-from-the-hip' and not thinking through my comments again in a few weeks when I forget that I said I wouldn't do it.

Hey, maybe religion was just a government prototype.

Eh, maybe not.

So who's going to be around this weekend?

Karl said he doesn't have to work on Friday, so I might be doing something with him. Dunno. Saturday is free. Wants to be playing King of Fighters so I'll probably go to Kenny's at least for a while...

I thought Jesus taught faith THROUGH works...not by works alone will we be judged. I mean a murderer can be a good person,but they really cant go to heaven cuz they didnt actually confess they were wrong. You really cant judge someone by just what they do. I know some pretty good willed atheists who do plenty of charity work. I cant judge them by just what they do. Isnt that what we were taught? To fellowship before me hate monger? Well thats what I picked up...

I hate drama. Mormons seem to have lots of drama. Must be all the hampsters they jeteson up their colons or the fact they marry 37 spouses. God I HATE mormons.

Oh and Andy? Be ye not the first to cast stones. Catholics rant and rave and curse at the protestants just as much as the protestants do against the Catholics...read yer last post and tell me you just didnt do this. Nooch. Watch thy tongue!

But this still means I hate the fucking mormons.

And he thinks WE'RE going to hell? I recall Jesus saying something about knowing people by their works. In that case, I will follow those who preach love, rather than those who preach this.

If I have to read one more ridiculous piece of protestant hate-evangelism I'm afraid I'm going to have to erect a damn stake in my yard and start a friggin Inquisition. Okay, not really, but this is just getting stupid. If anyone ever said that loving those who hate you is easy I'd like to laugh in their face right now. It would be very easy for me to hate these people. Thankfully, I feel that I have a better handle on Jesus' message than they do...And I love them anyway.

Sometimes I wish there were no organized religion. It seems like it would be so much easier if no 'religion' would have sprang out of Jesus' teachings...and we could all just follow them as we felt best. I guess thats just not how people operate though. Considering that damn near every civilization has practiced some sort of religious ceremony, it appears that there is something hardwired. Something that drives us to organize our spiritual inclinations into formal worship and practice. We seem to need communal worship, it has been an integral part of developing community in the past and continues to shape cultures today.

Is this some sort of psychological safty-net? Couldn't we just replace churches with 12-step programs and support groups and the like? Why do we have to have these organizations that function like tribes of opposing barbarians? They are nearly at each others throats, when they are all supposed to be striving toward the same goals! Then they look around and wonder why they aren't taken more seriously, or why some have given up on them completely.

maybe they are not more than glorified AA meetings. maybe they are an important social institution, an adhesive for holding us together.

but maybe they are the vessels of God's message to the people. maybe they are sacred and holy. maybe they are God's great middle-man. If so, then where did they go wrong?

If I were ever to abandon the faith, I feel it would be the result of questions like these. The little problems that bug the shit out of me. The problems that seem far easier to give up on, than to solve.


I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are pouring into the Kingdom of
God ahead of you.
–Jesus Christ

bloody hell. Im still at school and its damn near 10 o'clock. And wanna hear the worst shit?! I have to buy a portable hard drive. Its kinda necessary cuz we were givin a dicount for the first 3000 cds we buy. FIRST?! what the hell?! This school is whack. The computer class im in requires us to know Mac's better than Win. This is fine and kosher with me..but theres a scrawny snake handler in here whos really anally retentive about Mac. I want to shoot him cuz hes a 105 lb white widdle guy. People are stupid. I bet hes mormon...and drives an suv...and works with old people....and listens to rap. Boy am I hateful.

The Elder Gods are coming and everyone is doomed!

NOBODY CAN SAVE YOU.
WE WILL ALL BE EATEN.

Funny, if you like Cthulu, know what Chick Tracts are.

I hate rap. I hate it. Its on here non fucking stop. Im going to throw the fucking radio out the window soon if it doesnt stop. Ugh.

My class schedule is crazy. Monday i go to class from 1230 to 10pm and tuesday im there 730am-4pm. Then i have till friday off...which has me at class from 1230-4. Yay. This school is insane. Its all contained in this giant white tower in the middle of denver. Its crazy. Down a few streets from the school, theres a construction job goin on. The building they are building looks like Helm's Deep. Seriously. Ill have to take a pic w/ me new web cam and show you all.

And what else...cant think of anything. Oh. I hate rap. Almost as much as i hate...well...you know....
PHALLICAL SHARK!!!!

Albia now seems barren. But, I guess when I go back to school, it will all be kind of pointless as I shall be in Ottumwa instead of Albia.
Even work seems to be slowing down. On a Saturday night we walked out of there at 10:15-ish.
Oh well, I should probably go to bed. I've got tests to study for, and other things to do before I return to school.
Take care all.

(in song): Dave's gonna get converted! Dave's gonna get converted!

Well, I guess they're ex-Mormons. But if that's anything like ex-Marines, you're fucked.

Sounds like the trip to Colorado was ... indescribable. At least by me. www.geocities.com/atticleaches

TENTACLE RAPE!!!

I got the T1 line working here! YAY! So now im connected and shit.

So heres the thing about my major. Its Media Arts and Animation ... yet. ... everyone just calls it Animation. And theres about 45 freshman including me. We were told...only 6 of us will make it thru. Damn. Its supposedly hard as fuck. Im gonna do it by god. I dont fucking care if i die or not but dammit I will be part of the Sinister Six. Watch and see!

If i get down to it...ill make a story on my site about it.

But until later...later.

R.

Well, here I am in Clinton getting ready to go back to Uni. Yeeha. I find out that I can't audition for any of the plays, because if I go to Nick's wedding I'll miss too much rehearsal. Argh. Maybe I'll get another job. Yay! i was actually thinking about Kum & Go...but maybe that's just Dave Separation Syndrome kicking in. I can grow a vertical line of hair on my chin, and tape lingerie-clad women to my wall.

Bil: sounds like your week sucked the ass. I was gonna drive to Chariton for lunch or something Wednesday, but it sounded as if things were hectic enough for you with rent-checking, etc. Maybe you should hire independent thugs to find your landlord...or find someone close to his heart, and nail the check to that person's forehead. His mother maybe? Or love interest? That's how I get sick notes to my professors.

Grrt's apartment...was in pretty good shape. Was kinda surprising. But .. sorta weird.

Damn internet is not good here.

So what's the plans for today and tomorrow?

I will probably go to Kenny's at some point being as I have the new King of Fighters for PS2 and want to try it out. Other than that though, I'm open for doing something.

Also, I got this text message on my phone at 8am this morning:

MY ROOMATES
ARE ALL
MORMONS...

Poor Dave.

Well, since I've been highlighting some of the latest religious news, I figured I'd add a few others that caught my attention.

Christian Nudist Colony: This one was particulalrly amusing.

The Grand Canyon of God: This is just a ridiculous argument that makes Andy sad.

Amnesty International's Reaction to Executions: For once I agree with Amnesty International.

Britney Spears study of Kabbala: WTF?? Seriously? Who comes up with this shit?

Its Nothing Personal: I seriously give up....what the fuck is wrong with this picture?

Suing for separation of church and beans: ...its just...oh...far too ridiculous...and funny...very funny.

What a country!

Here's an article that didn't really surprise me, but it did amuse me. Made me think of 'Buddy Christ'.

Graargh.

This has been a hellacious week. My landlord hasn't been in his office so I still have my January rent check, which I'm fairly ambivalent about. On the one hand, I don't much care as long as he doesn't kick me out or charge me extra for late rent, and on the other I am getting really sick of getting up at 11 o'clock so I can run up to the office and unsuccessfully attempt to open the door to a darkened, locked, building.

Secondly is the weather, of course. Now that it has warmed up, comparably speaking, from the first two nights my car has at least been having no problems. I was worried it was new battery time for a while, but apparently it was just the extreme cold, and it's working fine now. Also, in regard to my work (Master of the Custodial Arts) there is a simple equation for weather like this: Snow + snow-melt + sand x 1000 truck drivers = huge fucking mess. Hooray!

Dave being gone is kinda not kosher, but it really won't affect me until I come up this weekend. It hasn't really sunk in yet. What are the plans for this weekend anyways?

And finally, but probably the worst one, one of my close online friends has discovered very blatant evidence of her father cheating on her mother. Since I've been through something kind of similar, I know there's really not an awful lot I can do about it, and that really tears me up. I really hate feeling helpless and useless. Not much I can do considering she's half a world away, though. I'd really like to smack her dad a couple of times for putting her through this.

This week must end! At least it is Thursday (and payday!) and I am... Hungry. So I shall attempt to hunt up some food.

And why did that article surprise you Andy? I didn't see any new or noteworthy information (unless you count the rather transparent spin the writer put on the raw information). Maybe you were running under that rather common, but mistaken, view that science and religion are at odds somehow. Did you expect there to be no scientists that were religious? I find it amusing that the article spins 40% to be"so many scientists," when compared to the general population (America is like 86%, England is a bit lower) it's a rather startling number.

I don't find "numbers," even numbers of scientists, to be a very compelling argument, though.

Tonight Andy and I spent some time discussing the utter financial uselessness of our time in college. I was looking at a catalogue from the Colorado Institute that Dave left behind and noticed that most of the plans of study at least had a solid career goal attached, even if it was sort of farfetched. My English major sort of culminates in the equivalent of spinning around with a blindfold on and then stumbling into the job market.

So I paced around in the Kum & Go cooler ... and it was pretty relaxing. Once you're freezing between metallic rows of Mountain Dew and Mister Pibb, it's hard to remember why you're pissed off or frustrated. It's too weird a view. And all the soda reminds me too much of the past, as does just being in a cooler (although I'm glad that I'm no longer the one stocking the Casey's shelves).

Because we had nowhere to go, Andy, Kevin and I went to Murph's on the square. It was a rather sizable mistake. We were the only people under forty, and for the most part we were the only people who didn't look as if we'd gutted a feather mattress and glued its raggedy contents to our faces. At least 70 % of the bar population turned around and unabashedly stared at us for the better part of a minute, and some mildly-retarded woman almost got upset with me when I disagreed that Kevin had a twin brother.

So we left quickly.

Egh.

Ya har.

Well, I agree. Meester Wells is off to Colorado, and lunacy has set in. Albia is now rife with anarchy and confusion as we try to figure out where to hang out. Why? WHY?!

So...step one is to formulate a Wells kidnapping. We can probably persuade Kum & Go to send out ninjas or something.

I'm leaving Thursday for at least a couple weeks...and if I successfully audition for one of the spring plays, it might be even longer. I don't know what to do about that...I'd like to do some acting up there but the time commitment is an extremely toothless, disease-ridden whore, so I might just say fuggit.

By the way, I'm a Tetris master.

Yes.

Something that surprised me.

Well, I suppose I should be giving a shout-out to Wellsie. It feels very strange to think that hes not going to be around anymore. I haven't seen as much of Dave in the past few months as I would like. I really don't see as much of any of you as I would like. But for some reason it usually doesn't bother me as much as it does right now.

I hear that you don't really know how much something (or in this case, someone) means to you until you don't have it anymore. I know thats been true for me in the past, and I don't forsee it being untrue in this situation. So I've got to make an apology. Wellsie: I'm sorry I haven't visited you that much this semester. You're one of the rocks in my pond. I swim around a lot, and when I get tired I rest on you for a while. You're always there, and when I swim away I assume you'll still be there when I return. I really wish I wouldn't have swam around so much. I should have rested while I had the chance. Because now that rock is going to another pond, and won't be there when I need it. I'll swim over to the place where it was...and it will be gone. I think thats the point where it really sinks in.

It reminds us of the things we stand to lose in this world. The things we take for granted. The things that won't be there some day.

Luckily, Dave will still be out there. We'll still talk to him online, and he'll be back eventually. We only have to lose him for a little while.
Sometimes we aren't so lucky.

Anyway, sorry for being so sentimental and shit...I must be getting older.
I really just want to say: Dave, we'll miss ya, and can't wait till you're back with us! Hope Colorado meets and even exceeds all of your expectations. I know you can do great if you want to!

And we'll be here for you, all the while. Rocks in your pond.

pi-i piika pikachu-pi - Chuu pi kaa ka chuuuu pi kachu

This is what the Blog would be like if all of us were a pikachu.

Some of the things I find are goddamn scary.

Organ thief sounds good to me. Plenty of women and money. How can it be wrong?

We were all disappointed about the lack of Goatranching as well. Ryan's was okay, but just wasn't andy's drunken basement. We also considered Wells's apt, but figured seating would be a little better at McD's. It ended up being a pretty small gathering, due to Old Man Winter's bitter, bastardly ass.

Dave will be gone soon. Odd. And then me (although for much less time). It is the craziness.

Well, better shower. Gettin pretty stanky here, boss.

I need a new job... I know! Organ Thief!

I couldn't see 10 feet in front of me and the roads were kind of shit, so I turned around at Russel and headed back home. Maybe I'll try again in an hour or so if it has stopped snowing. Probably not. It just seemed to be getting worse, and I was barely halfway to Melrose.

I'm kinda tired for some reason, and in any case..... Ryan's house? Bleah. I'm not happy to be missing Dave's last weekend shindig thing, but forces of nature seem to be conspiring against me going from the begining. First, a metric shit-ton of snow falls out of the sky. Then, horror of horrors, the store was out of Gentleman Jack. On top of that, the car seemed to be extraordinarily loud and sluggish (could just be the cold on that though - I hope). Then the knockout punch, the shindig not being held at the Goatlair in general and instead at Ryan's house in particular.

So this is what it feels like to have Christmas ruined...

[The Weakest Link] is a fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It's kind of the opposite of the way we elect a president.

- Jay Leno

Good shittin lord! 1096 spyware files?! I know a bunch were cookies...but 1096?! Damn! That blows my mind.

One more nite of slavery then I am gone from the show of donkeys that is Kum&Go. Woot!

Oh and we're goin gambling on saturday from like 4-10. anyone who is legal is invited and enforced to go. You have an issue? heres a tissue. Maybe you could take it up with...Mr. Lazer!!!

Milk those mice!

Here's what's happening tonight: NOT DRINKING! At least not by me. Blargh. The sun rose on the worst hangover I've had yet.

Also happening tonight...probably the usual stuff. Carol's leaving after we eat dinner, so I'm open for nearly anything. We could light dave's table on fire and use needles and ink to give each other tribal tattoos. That would be excellent. So if everyone could bring a few pens to break open, that would be great. And a big backpack full of unadulterated weed. And a virgin, along with a pile of firewood. And woodchucks, lots of them. Also, a team of sled squirrels in case it snows.

I'm about ready to kill and eat people. Or just start digesting my own innards.

Isn't innards an odd word? Seems like there was a band or something once called "Skynard's Innards." Great stuff.

INNARDS!