I should be asleep
Friday, June 30, 2006
Death of Superman
As all of you know (or maybe you don't, but whatthefuck do I care?) I used to be a pretty hard-core Superman devotee.
Yeah.
Saw the movie tonight.
I won't say much because one or two of you may not have seen it yet.
And I won't tell you not to go see it.
Just...
Don't expect much.
Yeah.
Saw the movie tonight.
I won't say much because one or two of you may not have seen it yet.
And I won't tell you not to go see it.
Just...
Don't expect much.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Jum & Gohttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
John McCain's wandering hands
I assure you Dave I would treat you to dinner and drinks before taking any liberties.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Not without my gyroscopic chronometer!
Andy! With the universe in one singularity revolved around my entity on Monday, I TOTALLY FORGOT about Cowboy Mouth. Did you too?
...I suppose I wasn't with ya. Piss.
I don't trust Nick with the distribution of hugs. He's got wandering hands.
~~~
OH. I have a Nextel plan now. So my phone....IF I EVER GET THE FUCKING THING IN THE MAIL...is Albia-Numbers-8206.
...I suppose I wasn't with ya. Piss.
I don't trust Nick with the distribution of hugs. He's got wandering hands.
~~~
OH. I have a Nextel plan now. So my phone....IF I EVER GET THE FUCKING THING IN THE MAIL...is Albia-Numbers-8206.
I'll save you the time
So to make it fair as an uninvolved third party, and no one's feelings get hurt, I'll both administer the hug and the kick to the groin. (In a Peter Griffin doing a fake Italian accent) Everybody's gay! *studio audience applause*
Monday, June 26, 2006
Apology Requested
Well, shit. I really, really, really do want to apologize now for my snappy responce yesterday in that post. Lets go down the list of how I'm so wrong:
My loyalties: They are weak, but in all honesty it's my fault. I can easily say "no" to the exes but look at my situation: Everyone is busy. I can be bored out of my mind and stuck in a town with nothing to do OR I can hang out with people who know my name...but that is an excuse. Ill be the first to say Im insecure and weak by myself when it comes to social situations. I had this notion that if I were to be back in iowa, then there would be time made for me, and not me having to make time for others. That again, is my fault for assuming. It also needs to be noted that my loyalties dont lie in them 100%. I came back to see my family and my friends, and seeing how everyone is busy I took what i could.
Ride Situation: I really really didnt mean to bark at you, Tim. I felt extremely forced into being brought back to Albia, and if you all couldnt do it I would have called the exes. But no one said anything about that. Again, it was assumptions. And I realized Tim had an OWI but from the convo we had at my recieving, he was over with that for the most part. Plus, the fact that I showed up and demanded a ride back was pretty lousey (sic) of me. I didn't consider you all had plans, and the fact that I barked at you all for having plans (especially Tim) was also very hateful of me. Hateful in the fact I became a bitch and demanded everyone to pay attention to me and me alone. It also turns out that I didnt have to be back in Albia that next morning because the electrician had called and moved the day forward. If I had called home and etc, then I would have found out this fact and avoided that drama.
The Dana Sitaution: Ryan's phone is the only number I had. The one he gave me said he was "currently unavailable." Easily understandable. And Ryan, as well, is a bad phone answerer. Understandably, Andy had a wedding and Tim had Sarahs stuff to do and advanced warning was given. I think I was more upset with Amish, who said to call him and when I did he never got a response. But reguardless, my fault again for bunching you all up and thinking the "if one fails, everyone fails" sort of mentality.
...and that's my apology. I'm wrong, again, for assuming and making blanket statements and not being loyal to my real friends.
I really WASNT upset with all of you. I just felt I needed to convey what was on my chest. *GASP* Denver has really taught me that you have to break a few eggs before a cake is made. But then again, blaming you all for everything and not blaming me for poor planning or words out of context really didnt help the situation.
However, it doesn't help as far as communicating with me when my phone doesn't work in Albia, and that no one probably has my mom's house's number. So this lack of communication is even moreso my fault because of a shitty phone.
The blog is a double-edged sword sometimes. Not only does it cut ya goin in and comin out, it can be read the wrong way or can convey subtexts not intended.
To summarize: I'm a bitch, need to get my head out of my ass, you all are cool but PLEASE keep me from going to the LXG, and Dana/I wished you could have met her. This all means I'm so wrong for being pig-headed and nutshots from you all would be very well deserved if targeted at me.
*heart warming sitcom hug or well placed groin injury goes here*
So Wednesday or Thursday, Andy? Call my mothers house in albia (Albia numbers and 5023) and you'll need to yammer on the machine a bit so I can get past the 1000 animals and answer the damn phone.
My loyalties: They are weak, but in all honesty it's my fault. I can easily say "no" to the exes but look at my situation: Everyone is busy. I can be bored out of my mind and stuck in a town with nothing to do OR I can hang out with people who know my name...but that is an excuse. Ill be the first to say Im insecure and weak by myself when it comes to social situations. I had this notion that if I were to be back in iowa, then there would be time made for me, and not me having to make time for others. That again, is my fault for assuming. It also needs to be noted that my loyalties dont lie in them 100%. I came back to see my family and my friends, and seeing how everyone is busy I took what i could.
Ride Situation: I really really didnt mean to bark at you, Tim. I felt extremely forced into being brought back to Albia, and if you all couldnt do it I would have called the exes. But no one said anything about that. Again, it was assumptions. And I realized Tim had an OWI but from the convo we had at my recieving, he was over with that for the most part. Plus, the fact that I showed up and demanded a ride back was pretty lousey (sic) of me. I didn't consider you all had plans, and the fact that I barked at you all for having plans (especially Tim) was also very hateful of me. Hateful in the fact I became a bitch and demanded everyone to pay attention to me and me alone. It also turns out that I didnt have to be back in Albia that next morning because the electrician had called and moved the day forward. If I had called home and etc, then I would have found out this fact and avoided that drama.
The Dana Sitaution: Ryan's phone is the only number I had. The one he gave me said he was "currently unavailable." Easily understandable. And Ryan, as well, is a bad phone answerer. Understandably, Andy had a wedding and Tim had Sarahs stuff to do and advanced warning was given. I think I was more upset with Amish, who said to call him and when I did he never got a response. But reguardless, my fault again for bunching you all up and thinking the "if one fails, everyone fails" sort of mentality.
...and that's my apology. I'm wrong, again, for assuming and making blanket statements and not being loyal to my real friends.
I really WASNT upset with all of you. I just felt I needed to convey what was on my chest. *GASP* Denver has really taught me that you have to break a few eggs before a cake is made. But then again, blaming you all for everything and not blaming me for poor planning or words out of context really didnt help the situation.
However, it doesn't help as far as communicating with me when my phone doesn't work in Albia, and that no one probably has my mom's house's number. So this lack of communication is even moreso my fault because of a shitty phone.
The blog is a double-edged sword sometimes. Not only does it cut ya goin in and comin out, it can be read the wrong way or can convey subtexts not intended.
To summarize: I'm a bitch, need to get my head out of my ass, you all are cool but PLEASE keep me from going to the LXG, and Dana/I wished you could have met her. This all means I'm so wrong for being pig-headed and nutshots from you all would be very well deserved if targeted at me.
*heart warming sitcom hug or well placed groin injury goes here*
So Wednesday or Thursday, Andy? Call my mothers house in albia (Albia numbers and 5023) and you'll need to yammer on the machine a bit so I can get past the 1000 animals and answer the damn phone.
The Earth revolves, in it’s steady elliptical orbit, around Dave.
...and don’t even try to tell me any differently.
Dave, I love you, but you need to do three things if you expect to see me or anyone else who matters here in Iowa.
#1 Decide where your loyalties lie.
#2 Plan well in advance.
#3 Communicate and discuss your plans, making adjustments as necessary.
(A hastily written note, indicating that you’ll ‘be back Saturday’ does not constitute as communicating and discussing your plans, by the way.)
I know it’s a crazy idea, but maybe if you want to see us, you should spend some time with us instead of our ex-girlfriends. I really don’t care that you were with mine, but Tim’s...you should know better.
I really do want to hang out with you before you go home, and I think if you’re aware of these things it’ll make that more likely.
Also, I need to go home some time this week (probably tomorrow or Thursday) so if you want to catch a ride back up, let me know soon!
Dave, I love you, but you need to do three things if you expect to see me or anyone else who matters here in Iowa.
#1 Decide where your loyalties lie.
#2 Plan well in advance.
#3 Communicate and discuss your plans, making adjustments as necessary.
(A hastily written note, indicating that you’ll ‘be back Saturday’ does not constitute as communicating and discussing your plans, by the way.)
I know it’s a crazy idea, but maybe if you want to see us, you should spend some time with us instead of our ex-girlfriends. I really don’t care that you were with mine, but Tim’s...you should know better.
I really do want to hang out with you before you go home, and I think if you’re aware of these things it’ll make that more likely.
Also, I need to go home some time this week (probably tomorrow or Thursday) so if you want to catch a ride back up, let me know soon!
Got a unicorn in your radiator, and the cow jumped over the moon
In response to Dave's post--
I considered not posting a response, since I know you're upset, which is fine, but maybe it'll help to know what was going on everywhere.
The thing about driving Tuesday--yeah, it wasn't really something I wanted to do. You'd just shown up needing a ride from spending the night with someone who, without exaggeration, has tried to ruin my life on several occasions, has mailed anonymous notifcations to my parents of things from my past like TIM DICKS HAD AN OWI, has threatened to prosecute me for multiple rapes that I shouldn't even need to say didn't happen (until she was talked down by her therapist), called me depraved and cruel and manipulative for not renewing my obligation to an expired lease on an apartment I hadn't inhabited in five months, etc., created and propagated the nickname Rotten Vagina and R. Vag for my girlfriend and your friend, has emailed me certain that Sarah's cheating on me, etc
Along with lots of other fun stuff. So I like to not think about her. And it sucked that I had to drive you home from spending the night with her, because then I have to wonder how much crap she told you, if she poisoned you against me and Sarah, etc.
The rest of it was, you and I had spent the entire day on the road two days before--the hour to Osceola, the hour fifteen to Albia, to Osky, back to Albia, then me back to DM, and it was fun, so I'm not bitching about that trip in and of itself--and I was tired so the prospect of making the three-hour roundtrip unexpectedly again wasn't all that pleasant. Why would it be? And yeah, I had unmovable life or death plans for that night because I didn't know you were going to need a ride back to Albia until you showed up from lunch with Lauren (it was kind of good to see lauren, though). I had thought you were having dinner with her that night, so I figured you'd be over after, but I didn't think you'd need to get back to Albia the same night.
The life or death, unmovable plans was: I had a date with my girlfriend. Part of it was, I see Sarah from about 8:30 till 11:15, when she's getting ready for bed. So I didn't want to be driving at that time. We're having some problems, not really with the relationship at its core or anything even that important, but with her new work schedule making things crazy, and I thought if you were still coming Wednesday night it would be to stay over so there wouldn't be the driving, and so S and I made plans. And part of it was that I really dreaded driving at all, and didn't want to be bitchy about it for whatever amount of time we would have hung out. And I already was bitchy, I know...I was just tired of zooming about in a car. It seemed that, if I wanted to be home before it was midnight or so, we'd have to leave DM before anything really happened anyway. And anymore, especially that night, it wouldn't have been good for me to be driving too late.
The reason I left yesterday was this: Sarah was pulled over on the interstate last weekend and couldn't find her insurance card, and the cop threatened her with the multi-hundreds of dollars fine but just ended up giving a warning. So she didn't want to drive again until the insurance company could get the replacement card here. She had appointments to look at apartments in Minneapolis that couldn't be cancelled without repercussions (they've got a place, but the chance to look at new places was short, and the landlord had a couple possbilities that won't be open very long, etc), and her roommate who I'll presumably be seeing a lot of in the future wanted to meet me (since I just cancelled going to a wedding where they're all going to be), so anyway: Sarah asked me to take her. I decided to go, as Dana was going to be with you anyway, and I assumed there would be people here at the house besides me, and Kev wanted to see you, and I thought maybe Amish would be here, and later I found out ryan and head tried to call Dana... And though it's cool Dana came, since she never met me I didn't think it would mean much to her if I were here or not.
I didn't answer my phone because I'm a bad phone answerer. At the time I got your message, too, I was in 5 pm traffic on a freeway outside the twin cities with a roaming indicator on my dying cell phone. This bitch in a pancake-colored four-door about slammed me, then gave me the double-palms-up-fuckin-teenager look, so I was teetering on the verge of insanity, punching out my own windshield and charging along my hood to dropkick her contact lenses into her brainmeats. So instead of calling Ryan (again, roaming) I forwarded him your text message. My phone died a little after and I plugged it into my car, and the next day I got his message that the message didn't send completely or didnt' attach the original sender number or something like that.
Andy was at a wedding most of the day, I'm not sure when he got back. Ryan would have been working at the bar down the street from about 8 to 2 that night, I think. They said they tried to call Dana, I think.
Anyway, there are the reasons for the issues you mentioned. I considered not posting about it, because I can see this being upsetting on the other side, too, but maybe it'll help to know what was going on all over the place.
I considered not posting a response, since I know you're upset, which is fine, but maybe it'll help to know what was going on everywhere.
The thing about driving Tuesday--yeah, it wasn't really something I wanted to do. You'd just shown up needing a ride from spending the night with someone who, without exaggeration, has tried to ruin my life on several occasions, has mailed anonymous notifcations to my parents of things from my past like TIM DICKS HAD AN OWI, has threatened to prosecute me for multiple rapes that I shouldn't even need to say didn't happen (until she was talked down by her therapist), called me depraved and cruel and manipulative for not renewing my obligation to an expired lease on an apartment I hadn't inhabited in five months, etc., created and propagated the nickname Rotten Vagina and R. Vag for my girlfriend and your friend, has emailed me certain that Sarah's cheating on me, etc
Along with lots of other fun stuff. So I like to not think about her. And it sucked that I had to drive you home from spending the night with her, because then I have to wonder how much crap she told you, if she poisoned you against me and Sarah, etc.
The rest of it was, you and I had spent the entire day on the road two days before--the hour to Osceola, the hour fifteen to Albia, to Osky, back to Albia, then me back to DM, and it was fun, so I'm not bitching about that trip in and of itself--and I was tired so the prospect of making the three-hour roundtrip unexpectedly again wasn't all that pleasant. Why would it be? And yeah, I had unmovable life or death plans for that night because I didn't know you were going to need a ride back to Albia until you showed up from lunch with Lauren (it was kind of good to see lauren, though). I had thought you were having dinner with her that night, so I figured you'd be over after, but I didn't think you'd need to get back to Albia the same night.
The life or death, unmovable plans was: I had a date with my girlfriend. Part of it was, I see Sarah from about 8:30 till 11:15, when she's getting ready for bed. So I didn't want to be driving at that time. We're having some problems, not really with the relationship at its core or anything even that important, but with her new work schedule making things crazy, and I thought if you were still coming Wednesday night it would be to stay over so there wouldn't be the driving, and so S and I made plans. And part of it was that I really dreaded driving at all, and didn't want to be bitchy about it for whatever amount of time we would have hung out. And I already was bitchy, I know...I was just tired of zooming about in a car. It seemed that, if I wanted to be home before it was midnight or so, we'd have to leave DM before anything really happened anyway. And anymore, especially that night, it wouldn't have been good for me to be driving too late.
The reason I left yesterday was this: Sarah was pulled over on the interstate last weekend and couldn't find her insurance card, and the cop threatened her with the multi-hundreds of dollars fine but just ended up giving a warning. So she didn't want to drive again until the insurance company could get the replacement card here. She had appointments to look at apartments in Minneapolis that couldn't be cancelled without repercussions (they've got a place, but the chance to look at new places was short, and the landlord had a couple possbilities that won't be open very long, etc), and her roommate who I'll presumably be seeing a lot of in the future wanted to meet me (since I just cancelled going to a wedding where they're all going to be), so anyway: Sarah asked me to take her. I decided to go, as Dana was going to be with you anyway, and I assumed there would be people here at the house besides me, and Kev wanted to see you, and I thought maybe Amish would be here, and later I found out ryan and head tried to call Dana... And though it's cool Dana came, since she never met me I didn't think it would mean much to her if I were here or not.
I didn't answer my phone because I'm a bad phone answerer. At the time I got your message, too, I was in 5 pm traffic on a freeway outside the twin cities with a roaming indicator on my dying cell phone. This bitch in a pancake-colored four-door about slammed me, then gave me the double-palms-up-fuckin-teenager look, so I was teetering on the verge of insanity, punching out my own windshield and charging along my hood to dropkick her contact lenses into her brainmeats. So instead of calling Ryan (again, roaming) I forwarded him your text message. My phone died a little after and I plugged it into my car, and the next day I got his message that the message didn't send completely or didnt' attach the original sender number or something like that.
Andy was at a wedding most of the day, I'm not sure when he got back. Ryan would have been working at the bar down the street from about 8 to 2 that night, I think. They said they tried to call Dana, I think.
Anyway, there are the reasons for the issues you mentioned. I considered not posting about it, because I can see this being upsetting on the other side, too, but maybe it'll help to know what was going on all over the place.
This is what happens when dave leaves town.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
It's Because I Hate You All
THERE WERE ONCE VERY ANGSTY WORDS HERE AND NOW THEY ARE GONE BECAUSE I AM VERY, VERY, VERY WRONG. BASICALLY THEY BLAMED EVERYONE FOR MY MISTAKES, AND NOT ME FOR MY OWN
~~~~~~
Dana and I had an awesome time, reguardless. We did that whole Hollywood Jenga bit and got a lil drunk. We also went to Rathbun and got sunburned (or is it sunburnt?) and we got to see the WONDERFUL Cruizin' Albia festivities, or lack thereof. Very fun, to say the least.
~~~~~
THERE WERE WORDS HERE TOO, BUT I HAD TO GET RID OF THEM.
~~~~~~
Dana and I had an awesome time, reguardless. We did that whole Hollywood Jenga bit and got a lil drunk. We also went to Rathbun and got sunburned (or is it sunburnt?) and we got to see the WONDERFUL Cruizin' Albia festivities, or lack thereof. Very fun, to say the least.
~~~~~
THERE WERE WORDS HERE TOO, BUT I HAD TO GET RID OF THEM.
Chasing the Elusive Albino Squirrel
I really have nothing to say. All the upcoming movies are big blockbusters of the same old thing by the same big Hollywood names. Got no time to read anything because by the time my weekend work is over it takes two days to recover. Still have to get to "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaiman. It's almost mid summer so all the good t.v. shows are in hibernation for awhile with sporadic tidbits scattered on the ground like so much used tissues on Tim's bedroom floor. I remember when I could spend hours on the internet. Now it only takes an hour, and I can't think of anything else to do with it other than porn. I remember when summer meant something even with nothing to do. Now it's just some really hot months with nothing to do. Hope fall gets here soon then I can hunt for the elusive albino squirrel.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Attn: Dave Wells, Kevin Henderson...others
I won't be here Saturday...Sarah needs a ride to Minneapolis. And since I'm the only one who can navigate the mazes and archaic puzzles buried beneath our house on the way to the underground train, I have to go.
Wrong
There's something seriously not right here. I'm hungover, dehydrated and in a mindset that's spurring me to go for a run (grumpy mainly). I should be back in bed, sleeping like a drunken log, but I'm wide awake and have been since seven. Four healthy hours of sleep and I'm a damned ball of energy. Screw the seven to ten hours I've been getting. Four hours every night.
I going to go stretch now.
I going to go stretch now.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
But do they poop?
Probably a hoax, but it's so nicely designed and it's disturbing as hell.
You want to see the weird. You know you want to. Don't deny it. I mean, look at how happy little bobby is there hugging his vaccum sealed unconsious pet. You MUST know more...
http://www.genpets.com/index.php
Something Awful Dot Com.
Photoshop Phriday.
I suggest "Video Games According to Grandma" and "Sci-Fi vs. Sci-Fi."
The Yankee Candle series is kinda funny, too.
Unfortunately, no bacon.
I suggest "Video Games According to Grandma" and "Sci-Fi vs. Sci-Fi."
The Yankee Candle series is kinda funny, too.
Unfortunately, no bacon.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
I am on the Mississippi.
I've been having a lot of cool dreams lately. Snakes, flying, time travel. Then last night: I was copy editing the Des Moines Register with a felt tip pen. What the hell is that? Boring. That is Boringko the boring Russian clown.
Dave, I will not forget you. I will PURPOSELY LEAVE YOU at the train station.
But I'll try not to. When do you get in? You might want to bring some porn or a D.A.R.E. book to entertain yourself, though, cause it's a 45 minute drive from our place and if it's balls early, I'll never make it exactly on time. But I'll try not to let you sit for more than 40 minutes. And if it's NOT balls early, I'll shoot to be there on time.
Then we're off to Albia, right?
Dave, I will not forget you. I will PURPOSELY LEAVE YOU at the train station.
But I'll try not to. When do you get in? You might want to bring some porn or a D.A.R.E. book to entertain yourself, though, cause it's a 45 minute drive from our place and if it's balls early, I'll never make it exactly on time. But I'll try not to let you sit for more than 40 minutes. And if it's NOT balls early, I'll shoot to be there on time.
Then we're off to Albia, right?
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Sad, sad news
Satan & God picture is printed. The Mr. Christopher...not so much. Here's why:
1) Boozing.
2) I didnt do it.
I aint no holler back girl. I'll do what I want to. Kupo.
1) Boozing.
2) I didnt do it.
I aint no holler back girl. I'll do what I want to. Kupo.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Dreaded candiru
I don't know what's going on, but it sounds like someone's practicing tuba upstairs.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
It is finished!
She Married Rominger! is finished, and if you want a peek of it before I get it home go here. I'll begin on the Mr. Christopher picture tonight. Hopefully.
Jaime wants me to go to Adventureland when I get back. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeells no. Theme parks are loathesome.
Jaime wants me to go to Adventureland when I get back. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeells no. Theme parks are loathesome.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Here's a news report that mentions the diabolical ESR.http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
T-Shirts are the devil's tool
Here are some T-shirts I wish I could afford to give at X-mas, but I'm poor.
For Dave
For Kevin
For Andy
For Mau
For Tim
For Monki
For Ryan
So Merry F'ing X-mas in June.
For Dave
For Kevin
For Andy
For Mau
For Tim
For Monki
For Ryan
So Merry F'ing X-mas in June.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
The League of Ex Girlfriends Has Invited David Wells to Stab His Bros' in the Back
Matter of business: Le Chateau is getting two Dave drawings in exchange for my train ticket. The Bar Scene is pretty much done....but here's your options on the second one. I NEED A DEFINATE ANSWER BY MONDAY ON PICTURE 2:
-Aliens vs. Dinosaurs (classic)
-Hot Pirate vs. Hot Ninja
-Mr. Christopher
-Wife Swapping Farmers
-Airplane hitting World Trade Center and sploding Ice Cream All Over
-FOES (including Mal, Iron Curtain, Queen, and Antihero) ((see my deviantart))
-Jehovatron fighting Giant Panda
Friday, June 09, 2006
I love you, Mr. Kipling.
So I went to one of my little nerd conventions...which are hella fun, by the way.
Heard a nifty a capella group that did depressing old sea shanties, world war one songs, and generally horrible but nifty old songs.
One of which I fell in love with.
Tried to find the lyrics...just 'cause...
Couldn't find them any-damn-where until one day I open my Works of Rudyard Kipling and what do I find but...
The Smuggler's Song
Then, of course, I found the lyrics on the band's page...*grumbles*
But anyway...it was awesome.
And...
Yeah.
*shuts up and goes away*
Heard a nifty a capella group that did depressing old sea shanties, world war one songs, and generally horrible but nifty old songs.
One of which I fell in love with.
Tried to find the lyrics...just 'cause...
Couldn't find them any-damn-where until one day I open my Works of Rudyard Kipling and what do I find but...
The Smuggler's Song
Then, of course, I found the lyrics on the band's page...*grumbles*
But anyway...it was awesome.
And...
Yeah.
*shuts up and goes away*
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Umm...yeah, that's it
Does anyone know what the fuck navy beans are? They look like okay, maybe they're good, but then you read the back of the box and they're for soup, and they're beans, water and salt...
I'm experimenting with poor people food because the office of student aid just assfucked me. Actually, to be honest, I assfucked myself by forgetting to make loan payments for the past few months. My bank account is down to about what Sarah makes in one day of temp work.
So now I'm stuck with the dilemma: get a job and be comfortable again, or try the beany weany diet for the next three months? OH SWEET JESUS. I really miss getting a sweet fucking paycheck. It was like a magical fairy took care of all the problems from the past two weeks. And now the fairy is hungover on his couch flipping me the bird while I stir a pot of 88 cent beans.
And speaking of money, has anyone known of anyone, ever, who got a deposit back on an apartment? Sarah and I were just talking and neither of us do. At this point, I've sunk about a grand into deposits on my various abodes, past, present and future. Again: OH SWEET JESUS (OSJ).
What else could OSJ stand for?
Over Sweetened Jizzum
Ostritch Sperm Jar
Ocular / Seminal Jambalaya
Stopping there, after realizing that all three integrated semen. Sort of... sickened with self. Brain...shutting....dooooooooooo
(Sarah and I bade the first disc of Venture Bros. come through Netflix, and it's 400 times better than I remember. Which isn't hard, since I hated it two years ago.)
(And seriously, though, the beans aren't that bad. Black and kidney, I mean, which are the only ones I've tried. It's a whole meal for a dollar, AND a shitload better for you than a double chsbrgr.)
I'm experimenting with poor people food because the office of student aid just assfucked me. Actually, to be honest, I assfucked myself by forgetting to make loan payments for the past few months. My bank account is down to about what Sarah makes in one day of temp work.
So now I'm stuck with the dilemma: get a job and be comfortable again, or try the beany weany diet for the next three months? OH SWEET JESUS. I really miss getting a sweet fucking paycheck. It was like a magical fairy took care of all the problems from the past two weeks. And now the fairy is hungover on his couch flipping me the bird while I stir a pot of 88 cent beans.
And speaking of money, has anyone known of anyone, ever, who got a deposit back on an apartment? Sarah and I were just talking and neither of us do. At this point, I've sunk about a grand into deposits on my various abodes, past, present and future. Again: OH SWEET JESUS (OSJ).
What else could OSJ stand for?
Over Sweetened Jizzum
Ostritch Sperm Jar
Ocular / Seminal Jambalaya
Stopping there, after realizing that all three integrated semen. Sort of... sickened with self. Brain...shutting....dooooooooooo
(Sarah and I bade the first disc of Venture Bros. come through Netflix, and it's 400 times better than I remember. Which isn't hard, since I hated it two years ago.)
(And seriously, though, the beans aren't that bad. Black and kidney, I mean, which are the only ones I've tried. It's a whole meal for a dollar, AND a shitload better for you than a double chsbrgr.)
Are you with me?
Wellsey!
When are you going back to Denver? Well it better be after June 28th, because guess who's going to be at the Vaudville Mews?
Cowboy Mouth!
So....Are you with me?
When are you going back to Denver? Well it better be after June 28th, because guess who's going to be at the Vaudville Mews?
Cowboy Mouth!
So....Are you with me?
From the archives:
(July 05)
Today at lunch I had to sit near a table of female hospital workers. One was 26 and the rest were all middle-aged, 40s and 50s. They spent the beginning of their meal talking about how "sensual" Johnny Depp is, and then going through a detailed filmography. All this while I tried to read about vampire hunters!
But then things got worse. From J. Deppity Dogg they jumped to how attractive Leonardo DiCaprio is, but not compared to Ben Affleck. "But George Clooney," one of them said, "he's the man."
"Yeah," another said. "He's the man."
At this point I escaped into the vampire book. But then I was dragged back out:
"Do you ever sleep all night?"
"*snort* No."
"I sleep like a log."
"Me too! I could probably be raped and I wouldn't even notice."
This is when the what-the-fuck sensors went off in my ears.
"That's cause it's dead down there," another of the women said. "There's no feeling left. It's dead!"
Today at lunch I had to sit near a table of female hospital workers. One was 26 and the rest were all middle-aged, 40s and 50s. They spent the beginning of their meal talking about how "sensual" Johnny Depp is, and then going through a detailed filmography. All this while I tried to read about vampire hunters!
But then things got worse. From J. Deppity Dogg they jumped to how attractive Leonardo DiCaprio is, but not compared to Ben Affleck. "But George Clooney," one of them said, "he's the man."
"Yeah," another said. "He's the man."
At this point I escaped into the vampire book. But then I was dragged back out:
"Do you ever sleep all night?"
"*snort* No."
"I sleep like a log."
"Me too! I could probably be raped and I wouldn't even notice."
This is when the what-the-fuck sensors went off in my ears.
"That's cause it's dead down there," another of the women said. "There's no feeling left. It's dead!"
Bats.
By the way: my mother ran into Dave Paxton at the supermarket. The gist of the converation was: tell those kids to come do the Follies.
This is what I say: Tim Dicks died in an avalanche last year. His body was buried under 60 feet of snow. When rescue workers finally dug it out, a yeti descended from the icy peaks and tore off Dicks's leg, then proceeded to feed.
David Wells died in March, when his plywood biplane collided with the face of Mount Rushmore.
Andrew Judge has been missing since April. The only clue as to his whereabouts is a chalk-drawn pentagram on his bedroom floor.
Ryan McDonough expired while attempting to copulate with a pair of bongos.
This is what I say: Tim Dicks died in an avalanche last year. His body was buried under 60 feet of snow. When rescue workers finally dug it out, a yeti descended from the icy peaks and tore off Dicks's leg, then proceeded to feed.
David Wells died in March, when his plywood biplane collided with the face of Mount Rushmore.
Andrew Judge has been missing since April. The only clue as to his whereabouts is a chalk-drawn pentagram on his bedroom floor.
Ryan McDonough expired while attempting to copulate with a pair of bongos.
If you have a gun, shoot 'em in the head. If you don't, get yourself a club or a torch. Beat 'em or burn 'em. They go up pretty easy.
I used to think, man, it'd be great if the undead rose from their graves. Just woke up, started clawing at the rotted wood ceilings of their 6 x 3 worlds, their coffins, then kept on grasping and digging through the dirt, through the grass, through the bed of dead flowers and floating discarded Hardees wrappers over their graves. Shuffled off through town, past the mortician's and past the Scieszinski's and through the square and past Casey's and past the high school . . .
And what the fuck am I thinking? That would still be fucking awesome!
I think this desire to see the undead eat the living is born mostly of boredom. What would shake things up more than seeing that old fucker next door (more on this next paragraph) eaten by ghouls?
(The old fucker thing is, a few weekends back, while I was away from the house, some old bastard came over and told Wes to tell Amish to move his "eyesore" of a car from the curb of 5th Street, that there was an ordinance in WDM about not moving cars off the street after 48 hours, and he would call the cops,. And Wes, doing the right thing, was polite and said okay, Amish will move it. Which is good, because had I been there I surely would have lost it, and either removed the man's jugular for him or reminded him that Amish's car had been there for about 15 hours, and why didn't he get the fuck off my lawn before I had him arrested? Arrgh, I have anger problems. I probably would have yelled some obscenity, tried to be cool, and just stalked off in a flurry of confusion and embarrassment.)
Fashion!
Beep beep.
Seriously, though. I'm in for zombies showing up.
And what the fuck am I thinking? That would still be fucking awesome!
I think this desire to see the undead eat the living is born mostly of boredom. What would shake things up more than seeing that old fucker next door (more on this next paragraph) eaten by ghouls?
(The old fucker thing is, a few weekends back, while I was away from the house, some old bastard came over and told Wes to tell Amish to move his "eyesore" of a car from the curb of 5th Street, that there was an ordinance in WDM about not moving cars off the street after 48 hours, and he would call the cops,. And Wes, doing the right thing, was polite and said okay, Amish will move it. Which is good, because had I been there I surely would have lost it, and either removed the man's jugular for him or reminded him that Amish's car had been there for about 15 hours, and why didn't he get the fuck off my lawn before I had him arrested? Arrgh, I have anger problems. I probably would have yelled some obscenity, tried to be cool, and just stalked off in a flurry of confusion and embarrassment.)
Fashion!
Beep beep.
Seriously, though. I'm in for zombies showing up.
........
Zombie!
Zombay!
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Tuesday, June 06, 2006
1 and one and 1 make 3
So I called the court. Got all that taken care of.
Guilty. No Contact with Mr. Fowler. Punishable by arrest and jail time. Oh, and I owe the court $150. All I need to do now is write my guilty plea and mail it to Iowas.
~~~
So what is going down when I return? I wants to have some sorta barbeque at the Rominger Estate, like last time. Remember: I return from June 19th to July 3rd.
Guilty. No Contact with Mr. Fowler. Punishable by arrest and jail time. Oh, and I owe the court $150. All I need to do now is write my guilty plea and mail it to Iowas.
~~~
So what is going down when I return? I wants to have some sorta barbeque at the Rominger Estate, like last time. Remember: I return from June 19th to July 3rd.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Quick & Infuriated: Havanna Hydroplaning
Thanks, Andy.
So my birthday. It was awesome. Not only did I get a good ton of swag, I also might be on MTV. As for the last 2 years, we went to Two Fisted Mario's for my birthday. Low and Behold: MTV is filming Real World: Denver this summer. So they waltz in with a waver for the manager to sign so they can come in. So they sign it, get security to make sure no one gets near them, etc, and the manager proceeds to tell us (who have been inside fifteen minutes prior to Empty Vee) "Hey! Empty Vee is coming in!" Then they blast some anti-MTV song to the point we have to shout negative slander. They come in, order pizza, and go outside in like 2 minutes. Everyone in Denver HATES the idea of Empty Vee showing off Denver as a "hip place to be and where everyone is cool and fresh and clean-clean." Fuck no. We got to yell how they were ruining the city, our society, and music in general. They didnt stay too long, they paid (didn't tip) and a whole host of shit because franky, they suck.
As far as presents go: I got a Capt. Hook action figure, some pirate bandaids, a Ms. Pacman game thing (the one Ryan "sent"), a Kong poster, and a miniature Mani Mani Statue from Liar X. Aggurate (who coincidentally was eating garlic and lifting weights and could not attend the fun).
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Dave's Train Tickets
Well Dave, the tickets were mailed Friday morning. I hope the Pony Express get's there before the 18th. If he doesn't run into any indians, I'd bet he'll make it on time.
I put a party together for Dave
I got you a cake, a clown and a hot asian goth girl...your WELCOME!!!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Friday, June 02, 2006
If only there was a train ticket to fill my empty mail box.
FUCKING SEND IT, ANDY! YOU HAVE 2 WEEKS TO GET IT TO ME OR YOU HAVE SPENT 90sumodd BUCKS FOR NOTHING. NOTHING!
I suggest not serving Andy until he has mailed it. And I want some sort of proof he has sent it.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
No, no really. I'm alive. But see my sister and I were walking down the road and there shined a shiney demon (in the middle of the road) and he said
Morning kids.
I Bitched at Nick About Posting a YouTube, and Now I am Posting One. Whatever.
American Politics in 30 Seconds. And yes: I'm aware it's really only 17 seconds. Whatever...
I have a shittacular day, and somehow I click on my podcast section to a Kenny Podcast. And my day got better. God bless you, mass of microscopic squids mashed into one gelatinous form!
Then, to top that off, it turns out Bigfoot is in upstate New York harassing old effin' farmers. Why?!
